The Curse of Marshall Stack - Movie Pitch
A film idea by Alan Robertson and Henry Tenby
Screenplay registered with Writers Guild of America, west, Inc. Reg# 1160701
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Loglines
Logline 1) Two bumbling detectives are assigned to catch what appears to be a stoner killer, targeting young heavy metal musicians. It’s a race against time as the murders continue, while a strange CD and an unsolved murder from the past point to supernatural possibilities.
Logline 2) Four young heavy metal musicians have been brutally murdered. Clues at each of the murder scenes include a strange CD. Two rock’n’roll obsessed bumbling detectives are assigned to catch what appears to be a psychotic stoner killer.
Movie Synopsis
This movie is set in current day Los Angeles, but opens in the mid-1980s, when Marshall Stack, a troublesome, long haired, tattooed, occult-practicing musician in a heavy metal band is murdered by his band mates. Unbeknownst to the audience, his body is secretly hidden at an LA heavy metal club, and Stack’s band mates form a secret pact to forever conceal the murder, or so they hope!
The heavy metal club went bust in the mid-80s, and has been boarded-up and derelict for the past 20 years, until current day. The club is now being reopened and revamped by a famous heavy metal musician, and to celebrate the new opening, a “Battle of the Heavy Metal Bands” contest is staged to showcase new and upcoming heavy-metal talent. But all is not well in Tinsel town. A series of gruesome murders of budding, young, heavy metal musicians unfolds, which somehow seem connected with the opening of the club.
Two rookie detectives, KC and Nige, are assigned to the case, and being heavy metal aficionados themselves, they bumble their way through each murder scene trying to make sense of each killing. The only evidence they have to go on is a strangely marked CD, which is left at each murder scene. After the fourth murder they realize that all the evidence points to Marshall Stack as the killer. His motive being revenge, in that all the murder victims are sons of Stack’s former band mates. KC and NB initially believe that Stack is alive and well, but soon come to the frightening realization that Stack is dead, and his spirit is doing the evil deeds. The only explanation is that Stack’s spirit has been awoken by the opening of the new club, and is now hell bent on revenge. Stack strategically places marked CD’s with a cursed track for each of the victims. When the victim listens to the marked track, the curse is put in motion, which seals their doom. The two detectives gather evidence and are racing against the clock to solve the case and in doing so visit their favourite heavy metal bars and fast food joints meeting some very colourful characters along the way. It is now a race against time to save the last remaining son (number five) of Stack’s former band mates, who has unfortunately listened to the cursed track and is awaiting his fate.
The movie comes to a climax in the newly opened club, on the grand finale evening of the Battle of the Heavy Metal Bands contest. Doomed victim number five is performing with his band on stage, and Marshall Stack is lurking in the club to finish him off. The two detectives are frantically working behind the scenes to break the curse. The clock is ticking and Stack is getting closer and closer to doing in his fifth victim, all set against the thunderous Heavy metal mayhem of the contest. At the very last moment, KC and Nige discover the whereabouts of Stack’s remains, thus breaking the curse and saving the life of victim number five. As Stack’s spirit retreats to the dark side, amidst the thunder and crackle of energy discharges, the lights in the club flicker on and off. When the lights come back on, Stack is nowhere to be seen, and the detectives believe they have won the day. But have they?
Screenplay
The Curse of Marshall Stack
(A gross-humored, heavy-metal, supernatural who-done-it)
Written by Alan Robertson & Henry Tenby
Scenes
Beginning
Titles – VULCANS December 9, 1984, playing at Club Retrograde, in West Hollywood, Los Angeles.
Scene 1)
Opens with black screen and arguing. Transitions to scene of a door ajar and camera sees into a room (black and white shot), showing the backs of people arguing. Five band members are having a full blown argument and directing their anger at fellow band member Marshall Stack for typical, heavy metal musician-type reasons: “You fucked our birds, smoked our weed, you’re never on time, not pulling your weight, you’re a hindrance to the band” … etc.
Scene 2)
Transition to the five members of the band on stage playing loud heavy metal music, with the crowd going wild. Heavy metal mayhem! This number or a version thereof could be used later in the film in the marked song “The Curse of Marshall Stack.” The band members are all giving MS dirty looks on stage.
Scene 3) Dawn. On a dusty desert highway east of Los Angeles.
Transition to a vehicle with only four band members in it, as MS is missing. Camera shows the backs of their heads. After an obvious period of silence, one band member takes a lead and pronounces to the rest “we all agree not to say a fuckin’ word about this to anyone.” They all agree.
Fade to black
Fade into Current Day 2006 opens with an establishing shot of the façade of the newly opening rock club. Thundering heavy metal music accompanies shot, which transitions to people inside the building (see below).
Scene 3A)
When MS was murdered by his band mates after their gig at an LA heavy metal club, the audience is unaware his body was hastily hidden in an equipment box and nailed to the ceiling in a crawl space under the stage where they performed in scene 2 above. The club closed down in the mid-80s, and has remained derelict for over twenty years.
It is now current day, and Lemmy is in the process of leasing the building to re-open a new heavy-metal club, but the building is need of major renovations. Lemmy, his contractor and tradesmen (all heavy metal types with long hair, jeans, leathers, tattoos, smoking, facial hair etc) are having a walk through the building discussing the renovation plans, costs, potential etc. They go through a few different rooms in the building, and it as overly dilapidated, dusty, and dark as the windows are boarded over. There are some standard fright effects such as creaking doors, a jumping cat, squirming rat, a mirror falling off the wall and shattering, and some wind blowing through someone’s hair, and lots of looking over shoulders etc. But nothing supernatural is evident so as not to give away any of the plot.
Then the group goes to the backstage area, and someone points to and opens a waist-high single-hinged door leading to an under-stage storage area. As they open the small door, and poke their flashlight in, a cold rush of air hits the group (long hair going back in classic heavy metal fashion), and the flashlight illuminates 20 year-old garbage strewn about, broken boxes, piles of discarded newspapers, and decades old McDonald’s wrappers. Someone says “oh that stinks” and another responds “yeah, check out all that ancient garbage piled in there.” Lemmy responds “we’ll get that all cleaned up. There’s a lot of work to do here before opening night.” As they close the access door, and begin to walk away, there is a faint noise from within the storage area, enough for someone to ask suspiciously “what was that… did you guys hear that?” Someone answers “must have been a rat, or the wind.”
The tradesmen are a little spooked by this, but leave anyway, and put the icy blast down to the time of year, as winter days in LA can be quite cool. However, as they are leaving the backstage area, the person who heard the noise, turns and looks over his shoulder towards the access door in silence, with a question mark expression on his face.
Lemmy and the others walk up onto the stage and are milling about. There’s an old, broken mic stand lying on its side in the corner. One of the fellows picks it up and brings to center stage. Lemmy then takes center stage and says “I can see it now. Chicks, beer, and incredibly loud, long-haired rock’n’roll.” Lemmy hi-fives his contractor and with the clap of their hands the scene cuts to scene 4.
Scene 4)
A band (Tommy Miller’s band) is on stage playing heavy metal. The young band members are very much into it. The crowd is showing their approval with fists in the air and jumping around. Camera over to..
Scene 5)
A TV reporter is yelling into his hand held mic “here we are live at A&T’s, with the venue’s owner, veteran heavy metal frontman-turned-club-owner Lemmy!” Lemmy gives his classic smile into the camera. (Camera briefly cuts to a basement bachelor pad with a typical group of long-haired heavy metal music fans smoking reefers and watching the news with great interest.) Interview scene with Lemmy sets the stage: This is the first time the old Club Retrograde venue has been used in over twenty years. It used to be a heavy-metal-come-swingers club in the mid-80s, and has been closed for two decades. Just now, the club has been re-opened by Lemmy. Live music is still playing in background, with some funny typical heavy metal antics taking place on camera behind the reporter and Lemmy (such as spitting between musicians and audience, some bare breasted girls hoisted onto shoulders of fellows in the crowd, and obvious crotch grabbing by band members on stage). Lemmy tells the reporter about the Heavy Metal Battle of the Bands Contest (HMBBC) being held at the club, to promote the opening of the venue.
Scene 6)
Camera over to band, focus in on vocalist on stage wailing away.
Scene 7) DAY 1 11:00 AM
The same vocalist from the club in the last scene (Tommy Miller) is taping a flyer promoting his band to a lamp post. The flyer is advertising his band at the upcoming HMBBC. Miller then walks into his favourite heavy metal CD, accessories, and music store, Sin City Records. Camera shows him go in the front door and into the store.
Scene 8)
All the record store staff (three in total) know him and greet Tommy. They exchange heavy metal pleasantries. Miller asks “Have you got any new stuff?” The clerk responds “yeah dude … there’s something for you” and directs him to his usual spot. Miller walks over to his favourite music section and starts flipping through the CDs. Then he pulls the marked CD out and calls out to the clerk “what’s this? Looks very cool.” The clerk responds “Some very weird dude dropped it off today. Looked like he just stepped off the 1979 Judas Priest Tour time machine. It’s a demo. Only one copy dropped off. Do you want it?” The CD cover is hypnotizing and very strange, and Miller gets a little transfixed by it. As he goes into daydream land, heavy metal music starts playing (could be similar to the marked track number 5 as explained later in the film) quietly playing in his head (which is audible to the audience). After a short pause, Miller says “I’ll take it.”
Scene 9)
We see Miller parking his wreck of a car in front of his residence, and he enters through a back door. His pad is in the basement of his family home. The camera pans into his filthy, shabby bedroom, with piles of laundry, and a guitar and Marshall medium sized combo (red light glowing at 11 on the volume!) in the corner of the room. CDs, Judas Priest and other artists song books, cigarette packets, large empty coffee canisters, and ashtrays overflowing with cigarette buts are everywhere. The room is hazy with smoke, and littered with empties, and well-worn sex mags. The walls are covered with rock posters. Miller opens the CD to play it. He sits down, puts his headphones on, sits on the sofa and puts his feet up on the coffee table, relaxing and listening to the new CD. Miller’s eyes close and he falls asleep, followed by snoring. The audience can hear music faintly in the background (from his headphones). As Miller is listening to the music, the camera pans around his room showing more of the gory details. The camera shows the track counter on his CD player 2. .. 3.. 3... Miller is growing sleepy and nodding off to sleep as he listens.
An undisclosed period of time passes. Quick in and out of scene shot.
Miller is then awoken with the start of track 5 (which is the cursed track), and he is still wearing the headphones. The cursed song starts playing. “Coming to get you, gonna die .. gonna die” are the lyrics Miller can hear in his headphones, but the lyrics are not revealed to the audience at this time. Only the muffled sound coming from the headphones is audible by the audience.
Caption “2 hours later” = Around 15:00
Camera shows Miller laying on his sofa snoring away. While Miller is sleeping, the audience can hear the sound of a drawer opening and utensils being shuffled about in the kitchen section his bachelor suite. By the time Miller wakes up and opens his eyes, it’s too late. Miller says “who the fuck are you?” to an off screen person as the camera shows from behind a looming figure brandishing a large knife quickly moving towards Miller. Meanwhile…. Outside his basement suite…
The camera shows a jean jacket sleeve and hand (covered in rings, tattoos, nicotine, dirty fingernails etc) loudly knocking on the front door. This is Miller’s band mate who is furiously knocking at the door, yelling “Tommy, are you there dude. Open up man. Time to wake up!” He is puzzled by muffled noises emanating from within the basement suite. Miller is still in the suite but the camera has not yet disclosed his fate.
The band mate tries the door, and it is open. He walks in, cautiously proceeds down the hall to his band mate’s bedroom, where the door is ajar. The tension begins to build. The floor is creaking with each of his footsteps. He reaches out one hand (more rings, tattoos, nicotine, dirty fingernails) and pushes the bedroom door even more open. The deathly silence reveals the underlying, low frequency hum from the marshal combo amp (the amp power light is still on). The bedroom window is slightly open and the curtains are fluttering in the wind, suggesting perhaps someone left through the window. He then slowly looks to the sofa, where here he discovers with great horror that his band mate has been dispatched in a horribly gruesome manner. Miller has been half decapitated with his head hanging to one side by the half that is still attached. His eyes are popping outwards in shock (possibly popped out of their sockets for gross-out effect), and blood is all over the couch and splattered on the table and wall, all over the heavy metal posters. This is a very gruesome scene!
Scene 10)
LAPD Homicide Detective Kalvin Crotchkiss (KC) and his rookie side-kick Nigel Biggs (NB) are in their vehicle listening to their favourite Los Angeles heavy metal station KNAC (very loud, bobbing their heads, punching the air, devil horns etc) as they are cruising Hollywood Boulevard. All of a sudden they get a call on their radio “Emergency response to a reported homicide at 4521 Redwood Road.” They get serious very quickly, turn the music down, sirens up, and speeding off to the murder scene.
Scene 11) Time 1515
The front of the residence is cordoned off by police tape, with uniformed officers present, and officers with police dogs. Ambulance and medics, are there, and inside the house are more police officers, along with the Miller’s band mate friend and Miller’s mother (who lives upstairs). KC and NB pull up in front of the house (with loud music blaring from their vehicle) to conduct their crime scene investigation and interview witnesses. They get out of their car and walk under the police tape, flashing their badges as they enter the rear door of the residence. A police officer points down the hall, and KC and NB make their way to the murder scene. KC and NB enter the room, and are impressed with the deck out, (tongue-in-cheek) and then notice Miller’s lifeless, bloody body splayed out on the sofa. (At first the heavy metal state of the room took precedence over the body.) The Police Chief is already there, and explains to KC and NB that it looks like a homicidal maniac is on the loose. The Chief assigns the investigation of this case over to KC and NB.
Uniformed officers are taking photos (and dusting for fingerprints), while medics and Coroner’s Office staff are waiting to haul the body to the morgue. Then KC and NB walk outside into the backyard patio area to speak with Miller’s mother and the band mate. While talking to the band mate (a guitarist) and mother, KC and NB learn the following information:
1) Tommy was a heavy metal lead singer in a band in the upcoming HMBBC.
2) Miller’s band mate thought he heard a scuffle from within the suite when he was knocking on the back door, but he saw nobody in the suite or leave the suite.
3) KC asks the band mate “how did you find him?” The band mate explains, saying he went into the room and saw Miller on the sofa wearing his headphones, with his head partially decapitated, still listening to a CD. KC asks “why did you come over” and the band mate says “Tommy called me and said he got a wicked new CD, and I should come over and check it out.” What “CD?” asks KC, and the band mate responds “Tommy never told me the details.”
4) KC and NB determine that nobody saw anything. There were no witnesses, and no clues at the crime scene as to who might have been with Miller at his time of death, or who caused it.
5) They ask Millers’ mother and his band mate “where was he last before returning to his suite” and they both say “he came from Sin City Records.”
6) KC and NB go back into the room to have another closer look at the CD in his CD player. They open the player and remove the CD, and have a look at the CD case. KC tells NB to take the CD case and CD, and to tag them as evidence (as NB places it into a sealed plastic evidence bag).
7) As they are talking, the medics pass by in the background with Miller’s body on a stretcher covered with sheet.
Scene 12) At Sin City Records Time 1600
KC and NB arrive at Sin City Records to interview the clerk about when he last saw Miller. The clerk is a Judas Priest Rob Halford type. The music in the store is extremely loud, so much so that KC and NB can barely communicate with the clerk. They’re yelling at each other Monty Python style, and KC asks and gestures to the clerk to “turn the music down! It’s too bloody loud!” The blaring heavy metal music is reluctantly turned down, and KC introduces himself and NB and ask the clerk if he has been on duty all day. The clerk confirms that he has been at work all day, and then KC ask if he knows Tommy Miller (and presents a photo). The clerk confirms that Miller is a regular customer of the store and adds “he was here earlier today getting some CDs.” KC says “’we have some unsettling news for you” and explains that Miller has just been found in his apartment brutally murdered.
KC asks general follow-up questions, and the clerk reveals nothing strange. KC tells the clerk Tommy was found dead “listening to this CD” (as he shows the clerk the evidence bag containing the CD). KC asks “have you seen this CD before?” The clerk responds “no I haven’t. Don’t think so.” KC asks “are you sure? Have a closer look. We found this bag and this receipt from this store at the murder scene.” Clerk says “well he was in today, but I don’t recall him buying that CD.” The clerk then says “just a minute… um… it kind of looks like the one I sold him. As a matter of fact, it is quite similar, but different.” KC asks “in what way?” The clerk replies “I didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to the CD he bought, but there is something different about the hair on the cover figure.” KC asks “well who supplied that CD?” The clerk replies “some guy brought it in. I never saw him before.” KC asks “what did he look like? Any details will help” and the clerk gives a description as follows:
“He was a tall burly fellow. Long-haired with center part, and his hair was hanging over and covering face (in the style of the girl in “The Ring” and Ozzy Osborne). This guy was wearing a biker’s trench coat and square-toed biker boots. He was all in black. Very grubby hands, with rings, some tattoos, and nicotine stained fingernails.”
KC says “very strange indeed.” To which the clerk replies “Not at all! We get all types in here dropping off their demos and shit” and the store door opens and in walks another weird fellow dropping off demos, who exchanges heavy metal pleasantries with the clerk. The clerks says “I’ll get them on the shelf for you today Stig! Oh, and good luck in the battle!” Stig leaves and KC asks curiously “what battle?” The clerk responds “Haven’t you heard man? There’s new metal club that just opened in town, and they’re hosting the BOTHMB contest” as he points to the flyer on the wall.
KC announces to NB “Let’s go get something to eat”.
Scene 13) “Ace of Spades” Pizza (all the staff are sporting Motorhead attire). Time is 1700.
The detectives go for a bite of dinner at their favourite heavy metal pizza store to discuss the new case. Loud heavy metal music is blaring in the restaurant. Food sellers and preparers are all rough-and-tumble heavy metal types, with very poor food hygiene and poor personal hygiene. For example, food prep people are smoking and ashes are hanging from the end of cigarettes and dropping into the pizza, the male staff are sporting twelve hour shadows with ugly sweat stains on their t-shirts, nicotine stains on hands, and plentiful tattoos!
Standing in line, there is an obnoxious drunk fellow ordering his slices in front of KC and NB and giving the serving staff tons of attitude. The fellow taking the order gives the devil horns secret signal to his food prep colleague in the back to blow a load of farmer’s hack (snot) onto his slice (a special order!)
KC and NB get their pizza slices and grab a table and then start to discuss the case with each other. They say hello to some of their heavy metal friends while eating their pizza. Undercover cop George Morton comes over to say hello. Morton works the drug scene, but is decked out in full Iron Maiden regalia. They ask his opinion, telling him about the grotesquely bizarre murder of Miller, in that there were no clues, and the circumstances surrounding the case are very strange. Morton says “I don’t know, man. You’re than man that aced detective school. Not me. My specialty is catching speed freaks. Oh! Look! There’s another one. Gotta go. Will you excuse me?” The camera shows a businessman in a $1200 Armni suit with a stogie, and greased back hair negotiating with a druggie just by the entrance to the restaurant. Morton busts the guy in the suit, and police cars pull up and haul away the guy in the Armani suite. Meanwhile, two stereotypical druggies on the sidewalk nearby are having a chat: “What’s this world coming to dude” as they both draw long drags on their reefers!
(Sight and sound gags include the following: All the customers are heavy metal fans. Motorhead music is playing very loudly. The place is very smoky as everyone is smoking in one form or another. “Smokers Welcome” (or “Smokers Only”) sign hangs above the entrance. BOTHMB posters are plastered all over the place, beside the Motorhead posters!)
Scene 14) Day 2 Morning
The second victim is JD, who enters Thunder Records through the front door. JD is friends with the store clerk, who both share a gross sense of humour. As JD approaches the front till area, the clerk lets go with a thunderous fart while motioning the shooting of a handgun with his right hand. A cute female customer in the store is disgusted by the noise and looks up giving a disapproving glance to the clerk. In rapid response, JD points his finger gun and reciprocates the gesture with an equally disgusting fart, causing the female to quickly exit the store in need of some fresh air. JD and the clerk both burst into laughter.
JD then asks the clerk if he has any new metal music in stock, to which the clerk responds by again farting while pointing his pistol finger toward the metal section down the center aisle. JD walks down to the metal CDs and starts flipping through the heavy metal CD section. He puts a pair of headphones on at the nearby metal music listening station and cranks the volume up. The audience can hear his music in the background. JD pulls out the marked CD, examines it with interest. After paying the clerk, JD is shown walking out of the store with the CD in a Thunder Records bag in his hand. JD opens the CD and puts it in his walkman as he walks down the street. He then gets on a bus going to his band’s practice over at A&T’s (the new rock club).
Scene 15) 1130 am - Heavy metal enjoyment scene on bus.
JD is jamming to his walkman tunes (which are being over heard by the passengers), playing air guitar, and oblivious to the other people in the bus around him. The bus passengers are put-off by his antics and facial expressions. (Lots of growls, grunts, and “yeahs” from JD). He is engrossed in picking snot out of his nose and wiping it on his clothes and on the back of the seat in front of him, and on the windows. One of the bus riders gives JD dirty looks as he leaves the bus. JD gives the finger just as he gets off the bus going down the steps. Everyone breaks into applause as the doors close. As the bus pulls away, JD moons the bus! When he is in front of the club, the camera shows the marked track 5 playing on his CD player. Before he enters the club, he stands outside and listens to the marked track 5 and is transfixed by it. (At this point, the audience is given a small taste of the lyrics, but not too much to give away the plot.)
Scene 16) Lunch time at A&T’s
JD walks into A&T’s and says hello to Lemmy and the other bar staff. He asks “where’s the other assholes?” Lemmy replies “oh you guys are practicing today. You’re the first, and here’s the key to the practice room.” (Keychain has some kind of obscene character on it.) JD says “Its only 1230. I’m gonna hang out here with you guys for a bit, and tie one on, before I go and practice! I might as well wait for the other guys.”
This scene has heavy metal bar filler gags. JD pulls up a bar stool, with very obvious crotch scratching (bad case of crabs), and sits down beside a sexy gal, and tries to chat her up (having a conversation with her chest). At first we only see the back end of the girl as he starts chatting her up, while quaffing a beer. (Camera shows a “JD” tattoo on his hand.) He asks “What’s your name, I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure?” She responds “Your not gonna get any pleasure with me you creep, piss off.” She’s not impressed.
JD moves his stool a bit closer to her and takes off his jacket to reveal that he’s wearing an “Official Ft. Lauderdale wet t-shirt and bikini contest judge” t-shirt with accompanying graphic. JD continues to stare very obviously at her chest, with his tongue hanging out, and he’s licking his chops like a salivating dog. The bouncer takes notice and walks over and asks “DD, is this guy giving you problems?” DD then turns 90 degrees on her stool, faces JD with an exaggerated side profile (name tag says “DD”) and she responds “yeah, he won’t stop staring at my tits!” The bouncer tells JD “smarten up JD. Behave yourself or you’ll have me to deal with!” JD is still mesmerized by her ample chest, and he responds to the bouncer “say what? Are you talkin’ to me? What’s up?” Bouncer responds “watch your step JD!” JD gets up and walks to the back-end practice room with beer in hand.
Scene 17) Locked Band Room with decal on door (Marshall Stack cabinet and amp “LOUD MUSIC ONLY!”)
JD enters a room without windows, lights up a smoke, and sits down with his guitar and the amp humming, and starts playing licks very loudly! He puts his cig in the strings on the head of his guitar (Keith Richards style) as he cracks open a bottle of JD (showing the “JD” tattoo logo on his hand) and takes a few swigs. The ashtray is empty. Fade back to bar with his music thumping away in the background, as everybody is doing their thing. Fade back to the practice room, and the ashtray is now overflowing and the practice room is filled with blue smoke. The cigarette on the guitar head has a huge ash about to fall. As JD is playing away, the music suddenly stops coming out of his amp, and he’s playing away without volume. The camera shows the red light on the amp is still on, and the cord from the amp is plugged into wall. JD stands up and goes over to the amp and says “motherfucker” and starts cursing and assaulting it, fiddling with the dials because he thinks it gone on the blink. The amp goes on and off and on and off suggesting that it might be a loose connection in the amp. Then the single light bulb in the room starts to flicker on and off. So something is not right.
Very quickly the light bulb goes out and JD is sitting in the room in almost complete darkness. The room is faintly illuminated by the red lamp on the amp. But there is no music to be heard, just the faint hum of the amp. After a period of silence, the sound of heavy-boot deliberate footsteps outside in the hall grows louder as someone is coming towards the room, in a very menacing way. The camera pans down to the bottom of the door from inside the practice room, and the audience and JD can see the light from the corridor coming under. The toes of two boots appear at the bottom of the door. Then the light in the corridor goes out, and all that can be heard is the faint and distant sounds from the bar. JD says “Who’s that? Is that you Barry?” Followed by a short period of silence and no response.
JD says, “You think that’s funny? Ha! Ha! I’ll show you funny motherfucker. Hold your breath and get a load of this!” A series of loud and wet, exaggerated and forced farts is released by JD. Again followed by silence. You could cut the tension with a mustard knife! The door slowly opens with a creaking sound, and the amp is providing minimal light. The silhouette of a large, menacing figure walks towards JD and grabs him around the neck ad effortlessly lifts JD off the ground, and proceeds to strangle him with bare hands. The horror of the scene is complemented by simultaneous sounds of gasping and choking, and a final few muffled farts as JD is dispatched.
Moments later (Time 1330)
Scene 18) back at the bar, with the Rolling Stones’ “Boston Strangler” playing over the speakers.
In through the front door walks JD’s other band mates. Lemmy and the bouncers all say hello to them, and Lemmy says “asshole is in the back practice room. He’s been here for a couple hours already, noisy bastard.” And DD adds “Dirty Bastard!” The band mates all troop through the bar to the practice room. As they pass DD, in unison, they all eye her ample chest turning their heads in amazement. One of them bumps into a table, and all the drinks go flying onto the floor. A big burly fellow says “Jesus Christ” with Canadian donkey accent, and the band mates all tumble into the back of each other like a train wreck. The burley fellow says “we’ll need another round here! On num-nut’s tab!”
Scene 19)
The band mates walk into the hallway, turn the hall lights back on, and walk back to the practice room door, which is ajar. They enter the room, which is pitch black, and turn the light on. JD is nowhere to be seen. The amp is still on, and the room is filled with smoke, and the ashtray is over-flowing with butts. They look at each other and call “JD! Where are you dude?” (JD is his nickname because he’s addicted to JD!”) No response from JD down the hall in the men’s room, and one of the fellows says “he must be having a dump. Knowing JD, he’s focused on the job and he’ll be while. We might as well get started!” They all take to their instruments and quickly tune up. Someone yells “1,2, 3, 4..” and they break out into a very fast number.
After a couple of bars, the guitarist is producing a muffled sound, so he goes over to his amp while the band is still playing, and fiddles with the control knobs, which are all turned up high. The guitarist interrupts the number and says “wo.. wo.. hang on guys, I got a sound problem.” Someone asks “what’s the problem?” The guitarist says “I’m pissed off man. JD must have blown this amp on us. It sounds like shit. Let me check it out, hang on a second.” He puts his guitar on the stand, and walks up to the amp and double-checks the knobs and says “actually, everything looks OK.”
Someone says “check the connections in the back!” So he goes to the back of the amp and checks the upper back section, but something catches his eye and he looks down (camera from behind amp) and he exclaims “fuckin’ hell!” He sees a pair of shoes sticking out from the bottom of the amp. Someone asks “What’s the fuckin’ problem Dude?” The guitarist responds “no wonder this amp sounds like shit. JD’s fuckin’ boots are in here. And it stinks of piss!” One of the other band members says “Look guys. This new JD guy is a good guitarist, but I’m not too fond of his hygiene! I think he’s wacko.” He reaches down to pull the heavy metal boots out from the cabinet, only to realize they are attached to a corpse. “Holy shit!” All the band members pile around the back of the amp and someone says “There’s a body in their dude” as JD’s hands flops out of the bottom of the amp (and the “JD” tattoo on his hand is visible to all, as seen by the audience in the previous scene). Blood starts flowing out from the bottom of the amp. Someone opens a lighter for extra light, and they all peer under the amp and see JD’s grotesquely distorted face, with the bottle of JD partially ingested. They all look at each other in stunned silence.
Scene 20)
KC and NB are at their desks having a coffee break, each in front of their computers. KC says to NB “can you believe this!” and NB responds “what’s that?” as he takes a bite of his loaded Philly Cheese steak sandwich (dripping sauce all over his desk). KC responds “well they’ve actually got, would you believe, a heavy metal porn site up called metalmeat.com and there’s all these guys with long hair and tattoos getting it on with a bevy of tattooed biker chicks, and check out the music” as he turns his speakers up with Judas Priest music blaring forth. NB says “hang on, I’m comin’ over to check it out” as he grabs his sandwich and skirts around his desk to KC’s desk. As NB stands behind KC watching the online characters en flagrante, he takes a bite of his loaded sandwich and as puts pressure on the bite, the sandwich ejaculates a messy load of mustard, ketchup, mayo, hot sauce, and chopped onions all over KC’s shoulder. As KC says “looks like the sandwich is having a good time” his phone rings. (Miller’s unsolved murder file is on his desk.) The Police Chief is on the line and says “there’s been another murder KC, this time down at the newly opened A&T’s club. Sounds like another crazy one. Forensics and Corner’s Staff are on their way. You and NB get down there ASAP!” KC says “I’ll wrap up what we’re doing and we’re on our way!” NB says “come on, let’s go!” as KC has to conceal his large hard-on as he leaves his PC, with strange looks from female office staff. KC is trying to tuck it away without much success.
Scene 21)
Their vehicle pulls up in front of A&T’s and while still in the car, the bouncer at the door shouts “Hey, no parking there doggie!” KC and NB state who they are and then jump from the car and make their way into the club while showing their ID. As they walk toward the crowd of people in the bar, they catch sight of DD and their heads turn in unison with mouths open. They are mesmerized by her side profile and bump into a table. (The train wreck scene is repeated with the same Canadian fellow, who goes ballistic this time.) KC and NB are brought back to reality by a voice coming from down the hall “Down here guys!” KC and NB make their way down the hall. They are met by a uniformed officer at the door of the practice room. Inside the practice room the band members are being interviewed by the officers. Police are photographing the crime scene and taking finger prints and notes.
Both KC and NB enter the room and scan around the room expecting to see the dead body. Everyone goes silent while KC lights up a cigarette. KC is summoned over (by a finger motion) by of one of the uniformed cops and he goes over to the front of the amp cabinet, then around to the back. Looking at the bottom he cries out “Holy shit! What the fuck happened here!” Then the uniformed officer states “these guys found the body” (pointing to the band). KC then asks “have you ID’d the corpse?” Officer says “Yes. The victim is a Leon Franklin aka JD lead guitarist of the Woodies. We think he’s only been dead for a little more than half an hour.” The officer says “that is the rest of the band over there” and he points to the rest of the band.
The camera pans from left to right, and the audience gets a good view of each of the band members as the officer introduces them. They are all pretty rough around the edges (a motley crew) and the last member is picking his nose, and he wipes a boogey on his tee shirt. KC gives him a stern look and says “how dare you pick your nose before a Police Officer!” To which the band member sarcastically responds “I didn’t know it was your turn man!” KC says “if I wanted shit I would have gone to the shithouse, now zip it snot boy!” Then KC asks “OK guys, did anybody see anything?” To which all the band mates say “no nothing”
KC asks them “does JD have any possessions here other than his guitar?”
One band member points and says “yeah that is his bag (Miller Beer bag or other sponsor) over there over by the empty JD bottle.” KC goes over and starts to rummage through the bag (wearing latex gloves) where he finds and then removes several hard core sex magazines, cigarette cartons, rolling papers, nickel bags filled with weed, packs of condoms, single packs of guitar strings, a walkman, and the marked CD (and the cover in the store bag and receipt). KC then looks at the CD cover and stares at it for a second or two and notices that it is the same as the CD found at Miller’s house. Once again they place it in a clear evidence bag and take it with them.
KC asks “how long have you guys known him?” to which one of the band mates says “not long. Just a few weeks. We found him through an ad in last month’s Shredder mag” (The local heavy metal musician’s mag.) One of the other fellows chips in “he was one hell of guitarist. Apparently his old man was in a metal band in the 80s. Metal was in his blood. It was his life!” KC asks “Did he have any known enemies?” One of the band mates responds “ah … well… actually he had a big boob fetish and any woman with double Ds or larger took his fancy. He was always trying to get into DD’s bra, and she hated him.” KC looks at NB as they nod in agreement clearing their throats. One of the band members says “There must be other busty dollies out there who won’t be shedding tears for him now, poor bastard. Other than that, we don’t know.”
KC asks the group “Who discovered the body, any witnesses to what happened here?” The guitarist answers “I discovered it. We all started our practice session, and there was something wrong with my amp or something muffled with my guitar sound. So I went to check out my amp, went around the back, and saw a pair of boots sticking out the back of the cabinet, and the wafting stench of piss filled my nostrils. I thought JD had one too many, and left his boots and bladder contents in the back of the amp for a lark. But I reached down and realized it was JD who was stuffed in the back of the cabinet.” Then KC nods as he takes notes, and asks again with emphasis “did you guys see anything or anybody?” The band members all respond in unison that they saw “nothing!”
KC says “let’s see your guitar.” The guitarist hands KC his live guitar and KC starts to hammer out a lick or two (shredding the fret board!) KC notices that the amp sounds awful, and his facial expression confirms the guitarist’s earlier statement. (Although the lick sounds quite impressive!) One of the band members says “that’s some heavy metal man, we’re gonna be needing a new guitarist, are you up for the gig? Perhaps in your spare time?” KC says “I don’t have much spare time these days. But what the hell. OK dudes let’s jam!” The band members break into Judas Priest “Hell Bent for Leather.” When KC hears the opening bars to the song, he takes on the persona of a heavy metal star, flips his hair forward, and starts to go wild with band. Heavy metal bliss ensues. The other police officers have a shocked look on their face. NB’s cell phone rings. He answers, but cannot hear because the music is so loud. He gestures to KC to cut the music, but the band are engrossed with the music. NB is yelling into the phone, then goes over to KC and is miming “It’s for you! It’s for you!”
There is no initial reaction, so NB then goes to the circuit board and cuts the power to all the guitars and the lights go out. The band stops (and NB puts the lights back on) and KC says “Who put the fuckin’ lights out? I was just getting into it” when NB responds “it’s the Chief, for you” (KC has a disgruntled look on his face and takes the phone). “Ah yeah… OK. OK. OK. Ah ha. We’re on it.” (The audience can hear the Chief’s voice muffled on other end.) KC says “Sorry lads, but we’ve got important work to do, and I’ll have to pass this time” as he smiles (and gives the guitar one last power chord riff and hands it over to one of the other band members) as he and NB depart the room. (Heavy metal hand signs are exchanged between KC, NB and the band. KC strikes an air guitar pose and belts out a line from the last song. KC tells NB that “JD’s mother has been informed of the situation, so we need to go speak to her now.”
Scene 22)
KC and NB go back to their car, which is still parked in front of the club. Some punks with huge Mohawks are sitting on the hood, and KC says “excuse me gents, but we need to get going.” One of the punks responds “Get going? Sure.” As he barfs all over the sidewalk narrowly missing NB’s feet!
KC and NB are in the car on their way over the JD’s mother’s house. KC says to NB “there is a connection here right? We have two young metal musicians dead. Both died unnaturally, no clues and no witnesses, no motives, and both were previously listening to this strange looking CD.” NB has a pop music station tuned in, and KC says “this is a heavy metal squad car, not a pop music mobile. Get that shit off!” NB tunes into KNAC, puts on his sunglasses, and hits the gas and the car wheel spins away. Camera view from rear of vehicle shows the car speeding away.
Scene 23) KC and NB knocking at JD’s mother’s front door. (East LA low income dwelling.) Time 1500
Officers that informed JD’s mother of murder, depart the residence as KC and NB enter the residence. JD’s mother is still in the living room on the sofa, with hanky, tears, clutching a photo in frame. NB and KC offer their condolences, and explain their need to speak to her to investigate the case. KC does all the asking about the boy, and asks for clues. “Who were his friends, where did he work?” The mother responds that he never really had any close friends. His music was his life and best friend. Although he’d been in lots of bands, he always seemed to get kicked out after a few weeks. Ever since his dad died, he never did get along with anybody (sob sob). As for work, he only ever worked at McDonalds a few years back, but they let him go.” KC asks “Why?” JD’s mother responds that “one day after a long night of loud music and heavy drinking, he was hung over and he puked in the fryer, but never told anyone.” (Flash back possible bubble scene, Monty Python-style.) KC asks “Well how was he found out?” to which the mother responds “Poor Leon. The first customer to purchase fries got more than they bargained for, they made a complaint, and that was the end of his short McDonalds career.” The mother says he had no enemies, but he did have an eye for the ladies, which sometimes got him in trouble, but nothing serious. (Camera pans to photo on the wall of JD with his arm around a nicely stacked heavy metal rock chick.)
Beside that photo is another photo of a heavy metal band. KC asks “oh, is that one of JD’s bands?” to which the mother says “Lord no, that’s his dad’s group. He and his dad were carbon copies of each other. They both lived for heavy metal.” KC responds by asking “Is your husband around?” JD’s mother grabs another Kleenex, sobs, and explains “Leon Sr. died in a freak industrial accident almost 20 years ago, and poor Leo Jr. was never the same since his dad passed on.” KC asks “How did Leon Sr. die mam?” to which the mother explains that he also held a day job, and worked at a meat processing plant. He tragically fell head-first into a meat grinder, the only person to ever die on the job at Johnson Meets.”
KC then asks the mother about the father’s band, and she reveals the following:
a) He was in an early 80s metal band called the Vulcans
b) They were a five piece band playing in the style of Judas Priest and Iron Maiden.
c) They were just about to make the big time, and were finalizing a big record deal, and then it all fell apart. KC asks “What caused the break up?”
d) “One of the band members disappeared and the band split up. Leon went downhill from there, and took a job at the meat plant. He had the accident in 1987. Poor bastard.”
Scene 24) in the car (driving back to the club)
KC and NB discuss the similarities of the two recent murders as they drive in their vehicle. KC re-caps that they have two musicians that have been murdered, after listening to the same CD (which is a strange coincidence), one at his home, and the other at the local rock club. They decide to visit the Club owner (Lemmy) to see if he has any more leads, but first they’ll need to speak with the clerk at Thunder Records, where JD bought the marked CD earlier that morning. And then it’s off to have a bite to eat.
Scene 25) At Thunder Music. Time is 1600. KC and NB interview clerk asking about when he last saw JD.
No. 2 Clerk is Monster Magnet lead singer look-alike sporting a cheech-and-chong mouser, very long, stringy, center-parted hair, wearing large motor-cycle cop reflective glasses, and black leather jacket. As KC and NB enter the store, extremely loud heavy metal music is playing, and the clerk is blatantly smoking a big fat reefer. KC asks the clerk “Do you know a certain Leon “JD” Franklin, guitarist for the Woodies?” The clerk is silent, takes a huge drag from his reefer, and blows a huge cloud of billowing smoke into the faces of KC and NB, replying with a pause “Well who the fuck needs to know?” KC waves the cloud from their faces, coughs, and responds “we do” as both KC and NB pull out their badges. The clerk chokes on his smoke, throws his reefer down to the ground, and extinguishes it with his boots.
The clerk straightens up his posture and looses his attitude fast. KC says “I’ll ask you again, do you know Leon JD Franklin?” This time the clerk responds “well yeah, I know him, but not really well. He comes in from time to time. Why are you guys asking?” KC responds, “We’re investigating his death and possible murder, which tragically took place this afternoon. He was found stuffed into the back of his Marshall amp over at A&T’s a few hours ago. And we found this CD and receipt in his bag. The receipt is from this store time coded earlier today. Therefore, we’re trying to piece together has last few hours, and we need your help.” The clerk says “Oh man. That’s some heavy shit. I don’t know anything. He came in, bought the CD, gave me some attitude, and blew out of dodge.” KC asks “who would want to see him dead? Any idea?” The clerk responds “look man; I just told you, I don’t know anything. I have no idea. I just know him from being a customer.” KC asks “Well what about his CD? Where did it come from?” The clerk responds “well show me the CD” and when he sees the CD he says “a musician I haven’t seen before brought it in, and I put it on the demo shelf.” KC asks “can you give us a description of this individual?”
The clerk says, “shit man, I can barely remember that far back. That must have been oh at least a few days ago. I’m hard-pressed to remember what happened thirty minutes ago.” The clerk reaches into the depths of his memory and responds “Yeah. Yeah I can tell you. He was kind of creepy looking. Kind of pasty faced. I could only see the whites of his eyes. I thought I was on some real bad shit, but this dude was for real. He kind of groaned a bit, didn’t ask for any money, just dropped the CD off, and made for the door. I tried to follow him out to pay him, and by the time I got onto the sidewalk, he had split. Gonzo. The guy vanished.”
Scene 26) KC and NB get in their car and leave Thunder Records. Time 1630
As they are getting into the car, NB asks KC “Are you hungry? Feel like pizza?” KC responds “I can eat the ass-end of a skunk. Pizza sounds good to me.” NB asks “Dom’s?” To which KC gives a thumbs up!!
Scene 27) Dom’s Pizza
Loud Judas Priest (“Hell Bent for Leather”) music is playing.
The female servers are all decked out in black-leather, dominatrix-styled attire. This included leather mini-skirts, nylons, stilettos, black leather biker caps, leather vests, bright red lipstick, skimpy bras, sporting riding whips, with hand cuffs attached to their belts, with very stern and serious attitudes. The pizza makers are all male gimps (styled after the Pulp Fiction gimp), wearing rubber gimp masks, feat shackled, and wearing whole-body rubber fetish suits. The women are barking orders at the subservient gimps! A female supervisor in the back is disciplining the gimps for their errors with her riding whip! Customers are the entire Judas Priest whips-and-chains genre (with gimp masks on some of the customers for added effect!)
KC and NB order their pizzas off the menu and have a seat. A fellow wearing a gimp mask comes over and says “hi guys. How’s it going” and sits down at the table. KC tells him to piss off, but the fellow says “he guys, don’t you recognize me?” Then he peels his mask up to reveal his face, and its undercover detective George Morton. (A possible sight gag could be that the character actually looks like Beatles manager George Martin!) KC asks “are you here for business or pleasure, George?” Morton responds that he’s tracking a drug dealer who front’s as a dominatrix “that’s her over there” as he gestures to the supervisor managing the gimps. Morton says “she just uses this place as a front to process her drug deals and launder drug money. She’s been watched by the IRS and FBI for years. We’ve been watching her very closely.” KC looks over at her (and he takes a good, long look at her heaving cleavage) and she winks back at KC in a pseudo-sexual kind of way, and taps her riding whip with her spare hand. KC kind of loses his train of thought for a second, and says “I can see why. You never can tell what folks are up to these days.”
KC then tells Morton about the second murder, and the similarities. As they are discussing the murders, guys in gimp masks are coming and going, and taking pizza pies out for delivery on little scooters. The Supervisor is barking delivery orders to the fellows taking the pizzas. “Remember, deliver them on time, and you’ll be properly disciplined when you get back!” as she whips her hand and the gimp rushes out of the restaurant with giddy excitement in his gate! KC then says “excuse us George, but we have to go to A&T’s to speak with the club’s owner. We’re hoping he can provide us with some valuable leads.”
Scene 28) at the Club that night 7 PM
KC and NB arrive at the club, as Lemmy is on stage introducing the evening’s line-up, and welcoming patrons to the club. Lemmy explains that this is the second night of the BOTHMB contest at the newly opened A&T’s, and the contest runs for a week. The winning band gets a record deal, plus guaranteed play time on KNAC, the local LA heavy metal radio station. Lemmy explains to the crowd some of his music background, and explains that he disbanded his metal band as he wanted to open a club to promote metal music to the many young people of today who are thirsting to express themselves through the power of music. Therefore, he decided to open the bar to create a badly needed, local, metal-only venue to help promote young, local, up-and-coming metal talent (as he winks at the two blonds at the bar). Lemmy introduces the three bands performing this evening, which are:
1) The Strap Ons, an all female local metal band, with lead singer Wendy Large, Nicky Black on base, Courtney Balls on drums, and Allota Head on lead guitar. Sight-gag is that they all take the stage wearing strap-ons, of all shapes and sizes, with their names written in lipstick across their skimpy tops. (This concept is open to professional review or change if deemed too over-the-top.)
2) Beast is a Manowar-type band wearing animal skins, with very long, filthy hair. Lead singer has a posh London accent, speaks with an educated, upper-crust accent. He’s more or less a classics scholar. (Prince Charles imitation or could be lip-synced to pre-taped Prince Charles lines.)
3) Retribution is a Judas Priest styled band. Possibly an over-the-top homosexual lead singer, with equally gay band members. But still very much devoted to the metal.
In the background as Lemmy is doing his speech, the Strap-Ons are plugging in their guitars, and setting up for their set. The girls are causing a distraction by their thrusting actions with their straps-ons strapped on! Young male fans are at front stage orally teasing with the girls with tonguing actions, which is returned in kind by the girls on stage.
“Please welcome our first band tonight, the Strap-Ons! Lemmy exits stage left, the music starts, and KC and NB approach Lemmy.
Scene 29)
KC and NB make their way through the crowd and introduce themselves to Lemmy, and tell him what huge fans they are of his legendary music. They congratulate him on opening the new club, and the contest. Then, getting down to business, KC and NB explain that they are working on the recent murder cases involving the two heavy-metal musicians. KC and NB explain to Lemmy what has happened to the two deceased musicians (expand on evidence in the script), and they suspect there is most likely some kind of link between the two murders. Lemmy says he has many friends in the industry, and he is concerned.
They ask Lemmy if he has any leads or information, but he knows nothing. KC and NB show Lemmy the CDs each musician had on their possession prior to death, and Lemmy asks to look at the discs for a closer inspection. Lemmy says “this guy on the cover looks kind of familiar, but maybe not. I can’t place him.” They ask Lemmy if he saw or heard anything suspicious earlier today (before JD’s time of death at 1330). Again, Lemmy says there was nothing out of the ordinary. “Didn’t hear anything and didn’t see anything.” Lemmy says he’ll keep his ears to the floor, and will let them know if he hears anything. They ask Lemmy if it’s OK to speak with the bands playing tonight and later in the week to see if any of the band members have any information. Lemmy says “not a problem.”
Scene 30)
KC and NB hang out at the club, watching the various bands, speaking to band members, and patrons. Lemmy introduces the bands. DD comes over and asks “what can I get you boys?” NB responds “Two glasses of ice water will be fine thanks. We’re on duty.” DD responds “Do you guys want tooth-picks with those?” KC asks her name, to which she responds “My name is DD” (pointing at her name badge on her ample chest) and responds “and who are you guys?” They explain they are police detectives investigating the murder. DD says she was shocked to hear what happened to JD “poor bastard.” KC and NB spend the evening at the club watching the bands, and the heavy metal antics that ensue.
Scene 31) Day Three 0900 KNAC Radio Station Office (10th floor in office tower)
Receptionist Melanie Vance is a Valley Girl-type with a Biff Naked black hair style, black nail polish, lots of attitude, and is chewing gum at the front desk. She’s filing her nails, answering the phones, looking pretty, talking to her friend on the phone. The elevator dings, doors open, delay, and a looming dark figure emerges (tall, black leather jacket, boots, tattoos etc). Melanie is oblivious to all this. The menacing figure slowly walks towards the reception desk (filmed from behind not to reveal MS’s face but the camera also looks down showing his boots) while Melanie whispers into the phone “well I never wear panties at work.”
Melanie then immediately looks up where she sees MS at her desk, and she asks “Can I help you Sir?” She feels a chill come on as MS towers over the desk. Filmed from behind, the camera shows her look up at his face, and she’s now a bit scared. She says (to her friend) “I’ll call you back.” After collecting herself she says “I’m sorry about that Sir.” MS is silent and hands her a CD with a sticky labeled “Frankie Brazil.” Melanie responds “Oh yes, I will see that he gets this right away. Who shall I say it’s from?” MS turns around and walks back to the elevator (heavy biker boots thudding on the ground) as Melanie calls out “Excuse me Sir! Excuse me Sir!” in an attempt to get his name. MS steps into the elevator and leaves. Melanie starts to shiver again.
Scene 32) DJ’s booth at KNAC 0915 am
Frankie Brazil is a heavy metal musician in a band called the “Stone Cold Crazy” also in the BOTHMB contest. Frankie is also a part-time DJ at the KNAC heavy metal station. This scene opens with Frankie on air introducing a song by the Dongs “an up-and-coming local metal band, very talented and very loud, and competing in the local BOTHMB contest at the new A&T’s, owned by legendary heavy-metal front man Lemmy! And this track will blow your fucking (bleeped out on air) head off. It’s called “Rubber Lover.” Frankie hits the play button, the ON-AIR light goes off, and he lights up a reefer, inhales, and in walks Melanie with the CD.
She says “someone just dropped this off with your name on it Frankie.” He asks “did you get a name?” Melanie says “I asked, but he just gave me the CD and disappeared.” Frankie says “let me have a look” as he takes the CD, and asks “did you recognize him?” Melanie responds “actually, he kind of looked like that” as she points to the cover of the CD, and adds “I think I’m coming down with something. I feel kind of cold, or is it just me?” Frankie responds “yeah, it is kind of chilly in here. The AC is way too high. You need some of this to warm your bones” as he passes her his joint for a drag. Melanie says ‘I really shouldn’t be doing this at work.” Frankie says “I won’t tell anyone. Go for it!” and Melanie responds “what the hell. Ooo…. I’m feeling better already!” She leaves the room.
Frankie has two CD decks in the studio, and plays alternate tracks off the decks on-air. On deck 2 he loads the new CD, while deck 1 plays on-air. Off-air on deck 2, he listens to the first 15 seconds of each track, scanning through the CD to find the best one to play impromptu on air. As Frankie is listening to samples from each track, he stops at track 4, liking that one the best, and queues the track for play on-air.
Speaking into his mic, Frankie announces “You guys know we like promoting up-and-coming bands, and we welcome all your work. But it better kick-ass! As a matter of fact, this next track was on a demo dropped off this morning. We have no information on the band, but it sounds fucking (bleeped out) great to me! Check this out.” He plays track 4 on the air. While it is playing, Frankie lines up his next song on player 1, still wearing headphones listening to track 4, smoking a reefer, playing a guitar off-air. When track 4 finishes, Frankie says “if you know who that bands is, call in and let us know, because we’d like to know so we can tell all of you. Those dudes know how to rock!”
Frankie plays a commercial, and then starts to play another song from deck 1. In the meantime, the marked CD in deck 2 is still playing, unbeknownst to Frankie. Frankie says on-air “This is a long one but a good one, and of one my favorite bands, it’s called “Cellblock Hell” by The Punishers (open to change). The track on deck 1 is a long song (over 5 minutes, which gives the hidden track 5 on deck 2 time to kick in and play, and enough time for Frankie to listen to it.) Frankie listens to the marked track 5, and is actually taken off guard when it plays, because he thought track 4 was the last track. While listening to the cursed track 5, he hears part of the chorus line “gonna die… gonna die… gonna die.”
1120 am
A few hours later, the station’s sound engineer, Rod Lutz, goes for lunch, leaving Frankie alone in the live studio room for 30 minutes or so, locking the door (only radio station personnel have keys). Lutz, the engineer, is a long-time employee of the station. A relic from the 60s! He’s a Chong Marin stoner type. A very mellow, older fellow, and quite comical in appearance and conduct, Lutz sports John Lennon glasses, a headband, long hair, tattoos, and wears sandals, old jeans, and a tie-die t-shirt.
After Lutz leaves, Frankie is looking down at the CD case, and is mesmerized by it. The CD graphics and case looms closer and closer in Frankie’s field of vision. Frankie suddenly looks up and looks to a dark, menacing, blurred figure on the other side of the studio room window. The dark figure is very similar to the figure on the CD cover. Frankie quickly looks back down at the CD cover very briefly before looking back up to the studio, only to find the figure has gone. At first Frankie thinks he may be seeing things because of the reefer he smoked! Frankie’s heart starts to race (and the audience hears an increased tempo beating). Then suddenly, to peak the tension, the phone on Frankie’s desk starts to ring. Once. Twice. Three times. Frankie is holding the CD, and staring at the phone in a state of heightened panic.
Frankie then grabs the phone and abruptly says “hello!” There is a few seconds of silence on the other end. Then MS’s voice on the other end rapidly fires back “gonna die… gonna die… gonna die” (which are the exact same words from the cursed track 5 on the CD). Frankie says in a panic “who is this? Is this some kind of joke?” and the phone goes dead with a click. Frankie panics, and starts dialing other extensions in the station, but there is no answer at any of them. He slams the phone down, and it immediately starts ringing. Frankie answers and again MS’s voice says “gonna die… gonna die… gonna die.” Frankie yells back into the receiver “who is this! This isn’t funny anymore!” and he slams the phone done and heads for the door (which is never locked from the inside). But he can’t open the door! It is locked from the other side. Frankie starts to grapples with the door handle (while a heavy metal song plays live on-air), and the lights start to flicker in the studio.
Scene 33)
KC and NB are sitting in their vehicle listening to KNAC at low volume, eating their Chinese take-away on their lunch break. They are parked on Hollywood Boulevard (1 block south of Sunset) while a panhandler is playing very bad versions of rock songs on a small amp, with his beat-up old guitar case open for change. The hand scribbled cardboard sign in front of the guitar case says “coins for food and beer.” The KNAC track on the car radio is abruptly interrupted by the voice of someone yelling “Help! Help me! Oh my God! No! No! Please no!” At first KC and NB don’t notice, thinking the yelling is part of the song. But it isn’t.
Scene 34) back at the radio station studio
Frankie is at his desk, screaming into the “live on-air” mic “Help! Help!” The camera shows an over-the-shoulder view of Frankie looking to his right in terror, as an off-camera figure is lurking towards him. We see the shadow getting closer and closer. Then the studio room lights go out, except for the glow of the studio equipment lights. The camera shows the silhouette of MS coming over towards Frankie, and Frankie is yelling very loudly “Help! Help! No! No! Please, someone help me!” and the scene is abruptly chopped to the next scene.
Scene 35)
KC and NB are still sitting in their parked vehicle eating their Chinese take-away, and this time they notice the on air yelling. Both look down at the radio, then at each other, with a puzzled look on their faces giving each other a “what the heck was that” look. NB says “I don’t recall that yelling as part of this song. That’s an interesting remix!” KC and NB are oblivious to what is happening, and go back to eating their greasy noodles.
Scene 36) 1200 noon. Back at the station
The engineer has just returned from his lunch break, and is back at his room listening to the song that has been playing (but has just missed the on-air screaming). The song ends, and there is painful on-air silence, as there is no follow-on track being played, no ads, and no talking by the DJ Frankie. After a few seconds of on-air silence, the engineer hits the intercom talk button and asks “Frankie are you there? Frankie? Hello Frankie!” which is followed by more on-air silence. The engineer gets up from his desk and quickly walks over to the on-air studio to investigate.
Scene 37)
The engineer approaches studio door seeing that the “On Air” light is illuminated on the wall outside the studio. So the engineer quickly opens the door and enters the studio. When he enters the room, there is an eerie silence and he sees Frankie sitting up motionless in his chair, with his back to engineer. The engineer walks over to Frankie and shakes his shoulder and asks “wake-up Frankie. What’s up dude? You’re on!” Frankie is non-responsive. The engineer touches Frankie’s shoulder again, and the chair on its own momentum turns around, only for the engineer to see that Frankie has been strangled with none-other than a heavy-metal bullet belt. (This is a trademark accessory worn by MS). The belt has been tightened in a super-human way to the point where his neck has been constricted to a shockingly narrow circumference (pencil neck). Frankie’s face has been frozen and distorted in fear, with his eyes popping out of their sockets, mouth open, face stretched, and his skin blue and lifeless. All-in-all a very disturbing and grotesque scene. The engineer yells out loud and goes into shock, as he covers his mouth (as they’re on-air) to muffle his outburst of shock at the grisly scene. He immediately turns off the “on-air” switch, which automatically queues the standby commercials.
Scene 38)
KC and NB are finishing their Chinese, and when they hear the radio station’s long silent pause, and then the commercial, they look at each with puzzled looks. With no time to waste, their police radio comes to life with the police dispatch office calling to telling them to go to KNAC Radio, as there has been a report of a murder. KC has not finished his Chinese lunch, but has to drive. “Shit” he exclaims, handing his carton to NB, who proceeds to heave it out the window, and the carton lands face down in the busker’s paltry pile of coins. The beggar says “I’m not that fucking hungry assholes!” The vehicle peels out of the parking space. Further up the road, in their haste, they nearly knock down a senior citizen crossing the street, swerving and honking the horn. As they pass, the old lady wearing coke bottle glasses yells “bloody louts!” and gives them the finger!
Scene 39)
KC and NB’s vehicle screeches to a halt in front of the radio station building. As KC and NB exit the vehicle, the same beggar with the guitar and case asks “Hey fellows, can you spare some change?” KC says “Didn’t we just see you over at Hollywood and Sunset?” to which the beggar responds “No, that must be my twin brother Luther. That’s his patch. Can you guys help me out?” NB hands over a few dollars, and says “You owe us one Pal.” KC and NB enter the building and go into the elevator and up to the 10th floor.
Scene 40)
The elevator opens at the reception area of the radio station. They’re met by a uniformed officer who explains that there has been a murder in the studio and some homicide and forensic officers are present in the studio. KC and NB go into the studio and join the other officers, who warn KC and NB of the grisly scene they are about to see. KC and NB are shocked at the gruesome scene they find. They carefully examine the body in its place, and the murder scene, looking for clues. There are none, except the changed CD case is sitting on the desk in front of the deceased. They immediately notice the marked CD cover on the studio desk, and look at each with expressions of a cross between surprise and shock. KC tells NB “it’s that same CD from the other two murders!” They look inside the CD case which is empty. Then they open deck 1, and out pops the marked CD. KC removes a rubber glove from his pocket, puts it on, and places the CD in its case. They tag the CD as evidence and place it in a zip-lock bag and take it with them.
KC and NB ask “Who found the body?” Another officer responds “the studio engineer found him.” KC looks at the bullet belt around Frankie’s neck and says “whoever tightened that belt must be superhuman. Is it possible that only one person could have done this? (Pause) Any finger prints?” To which the officer responds “So far, only of the deceased. We have nothing to go on here KC. Whoever did this, is a real pro. He snuck in here with nobody noticing, murdered this poor guy, and disappeared without leaving so much as a finger print or a single trace.” KC says “let’s speak to the engineer.” KC and NB leave the studio and walk back to the reception area.
Scene 41)
At the reception area, KC and NB are introduced to the engineer and receptionist. An unintentionally comical interview between KC and the engineer commences. The engineer excuses himself and says “Do you mind if I have a smoke? This is pretty heavy shit to deal with!” Before anyone can say “No” the engineer rolls his own smoke, and starts getting mellow. (There is a No Smoking sign on the wall.) KC asks “How long have you worked with Frankie?” The engineer responds “well he joined the station just as a new hire part-timer about three months ago, and I didn’t know him too well. The kid seemed to have fun, and was always talking about his band and shit, and he was pretty stoked about competing in the upcoming BOTHMB contest. He was a real metal freak.” KC asks “So you didn’t see anybody come or go? You saw absolutely nothing?” The Engineer responds “That’s right. Melanie the receptionist saw me leave for my lunch, and then return.” KC says “Thank you. We may need to get back in touch with you.”
KC and NB then speak with Melanie, who is very skimpily dressed showing off her assets, doing her nails with a file, and she has been sitting silent on the reception area sofa. She is quite nervous and before the interview starts, she’s preening herself by adjusting her cleavage. KC and NB ask Melanie if she saw anybody arrive or depart the office premises while Rod was on lunch. Melanie responds in her Valley Girl lingo, that during lunch, a bunch of staff went for lunch leaving “only Frankie and I here to chill. I found out what happened when Rod came running through from the studio yelling at me to call the police.” KC then asks “so you did not hear or see anybody or anything?” Melanie responds “no… nothing.”
During the interview, Melanie is on the sofa with KC and NB across from her on single chairs. KC is asking the questions, and NB is taking notes. As Melanie is quite nervous, she is crossing and re-crossing her legs. She is wearing a short skirt and sexy footwear. NB is sitting opposite Melanie in a low slung, comfy chair. As Melanie is talking to KC, she is adjusting her boobs and crossing her legs, and NB has a clear view of what is up, or not up her skirt (in the spirit of Sharon Stone’s famous interview scene in Basic Instinct). The very funny expression on NB’s face tells the story. NB starts to slowly sink further down into his seat, to get a better view. KC subtly takes notice of NB staring at Melanie’s nether region.
KC asks “Well what can you tell us about this CD?” as he shows her the zip-lock bag containing the CD. As the CD has changed, it is not totally familiar to Melanie. But she responds “yeah, some guy brought in a CD like this early this morning. But I’m not too sure it was that one though.” KC responds “Who was this fellow who brought it in? Can you give us a description?” Melanie pauses and reflects for about five seconds (still chewing her gum), and then looks at her fingernails and responds “yeah he was like, totally weird. Right out this world. I mean this guy made Ozzy Osborne look normal.” KC says “tell us more details” to which Melanie explains “Well I was like on the phone. And he like, came in really quiet and appeared right in front of me at the desk. He freaked me out. Seemed like he was really tall, and wearing lots of black leather, and studs. His face was really creepy.”
KC asks “Well…and the details?” Melanie further explains “Well his teeth were really groadie to the max. He had this way gnarly gap between them and lots of metal in his teeth. And his eyebrow was like totally gross. Just this one big unibrow across both his eyes” (as she motions across her forehead with her fingers). “And he had this HUUUGE (drawn out) wart on the side of his face, with lots of black hairs growing out. Yeah that was really horrible. And his hair was like really long and dirty and greasy. But the weirdest thing about him was his eyes. They were totally vacant like nobody was there.” NB asks “Did you speak to him?” To which Melanie responds “I tried asking his name but he just turned and walked towards the elevator. And he was wearing these really heavy cowboy boots.” NB says “do you mean biker boots?” Melanie says “that’s right, and then he turned and walked towards the elevator. That’s it. Oh, and one more thing I remember. Oh my God, he really stank to high hell. He smelled like cigarettes, booze, and really bad BO all mixed up in one. And when he left, the room got really cold” and then she shivers to exaggerate the point (camera shows here tits jiggling).
Rod the engineer then interrupts the conversation by saying “please excuse me gents, but my lunch needs out. Can I excuse myself?” at which point Melanie looks at Rod, and that gives KC time to get NB’s attention and motions to him to stop looking up her skirt. After a couple seconds, KC gets NB’s attention away from Melanie’s crotch, at which point KC replies “No problem. We’re done here. Thank you Rod.”
As KC and NB are wrapping up with Melanie, the men’s room is nearby, and we can hear the loud toilet sounds as Rob clears his bowels. Specifically, the scene is similar to the famous toilet scene from “Kumar goes to White castle” with an abundance of muffled farts, loud splashing, grunts and groans, and flushing toilets. Rod exits the toilet without having washed his hands. The bathroom visit was very quick (with no time to wash his hands) and Rod offers to shake hands with KC and NB. NB and KC restrain their handshake with grossed-out looks on their faces, as Melanie in the background gestures with her facial expressions not to shake hands with Rod.
KC asks “One more thing Melanie. Would you be available to come into the station and help our police artist make a composite sketch of this fellow?” Melanie answers “Sure, just tell me when” KC looks at his day timer and says “Are you available to come into the station at say four pm today?” to which Melanie responds “all right… I’ll be there.” (NB’s eyes light up as he bites his lower lip, looks up to the ceiling, cross his legs, and exhales.)
KC says to NB “Do you have any further questions?” to which NB responds “Questions? Ah, no questions.” As KC and NB depart the radio station front office, NB places his clipboard for his notes over his crotch area obviously hiding his hard-on. KC and NB walk to elevator, and NB is walking with a pronounced impedance (not to be confused with impotence!) As they enter the elevator, we hear KC verbally reprimanding NB for being such a letch while on duty. The elevator doors close as we can hear the ensuing scolding. Scene fades to black.
Scene 42) Crowded Sunset Blvd.
It’s a warm day and there are many tourists and people about in summer attire (shorts, bikini tops) and kids playing.
The scene is filmed through the eyes of MS (hearing his boot heals clump the ground) as he walks down the sidewalk. The audience knows its MS because the camera catches glimpses of his boots, fingers and attire as he walks along the sidewalk. Lots of people walking towards him, giving him strange looks, wide berths, looks of horror and disgust, and kids are cowering behind their parents in fear. Another camera angle shows his figure from behind walking down the street barreling through the crowd. (An appropriate heavy metal backing track to this scene would be AC DC’s TNT, Motorhead’s Born to Lose, or a similar type of song).
Scene 43) in KC’s car calling the office
KC is driving and the radio is playing KNAC quite loudly. NB is on his cell phone asking the office secretary to call in the two record store clerks at four PM to meet with the police artist (to develop a composite sketch of the person of interest in the murders). NB also requests that the police artist be available. It is now lunch time, so KC and NB discuss where to go for a bite to eat. KC asks “what does your gut say today Nige?” to which NB responds “How about Subway? I’ve got a 2-for-1 coupon.” KC responds “yeah, the price is right, so what the hell” and KC and NB make tracks for the closest Subway (possible film sponsor).
Scene 44)
The secretary calls the clerks at both Sin City Records and Thunder Music (split screen), and both are slow in answering their phone because of the loud music in the background. When they eventually pick up the phone, one is smoking a reefer and the other looks like he’s been smoking weed all morning. Suffice it to say both are very stoned. Both clerks cannot initially hear what she is saying because of the loud music. Not helping the matter, both clerks are sensory impaired because of their extensive substance use, and they have trouble understanding who is calling. Eventually the secretary yells “turn the music down” and she finally gets the message across that they are needed to come into the police station to assist the police artist in making a composite sketch of the person of interest. (Both clerks are playing their characters to the fullest). Both clerks respond affirmative to the request.
Scene 45)
Opens with a shot of MS’s hand against his jean pants, with a lit cigarette and big ash (out of focus) about to drop off. The camera is positioned beside his hand and showing the Subway storefront across the street in full focus. MS’s hand is out of focus. KC and NB pull up in front of the Subway, and both get out of the vehicle and enter the restaurant. Then the camera focuses in on MS’s right hand and cigarette with smoke wafting up, showing the skull and crossbones rings on his hand, nicotine stains, and the tattooed letters on his fingers which read “B O R N 2.” The cigarette drops to pavement and his leather boot stubs out the lit butt.
Scene 46) Inside the Subway 2 PM
Two East Indians are behind the counter (middle aged males) and on shift. Indian music is playing in the background. One of the sandwich artists is deeply engaged in picking his nose, while the other is dry shaving over the food area with an electric razor. The first artist flicks his snot ball into the mixed salad container. As KC and NB walk in, the place is completely empty (wonder why?) which is ominous of the service that is forthcoming. KC and NB look up the menu boards on the back wall, and then gaze around in amazement that it the place is empty, given the time of the day. Just after KC and NB walk through the front door, artist number two goes into the back area still shaving. KC asks “kind of quiet in here? What’s that noise?” referring to the faint hum of the shaver. Artist number one answers “don’t mid that noise Sir. It is our air conditioning” as artist number two walks back into the food prep area stuffing the razor into his pocket and slapping his freshly shaved face. He then squirts some vinegar out of the vinegar bottle into his hands and lathers it on his face like aftershave. He then asks KC and NB “six inch or foot long?” KC and NB are looking at each other with grossed out expressions on their faces.
Speaking to NB, KC says “you go first.” NB asks “can we use this coupon today” and artist one responds “let me see” as NB hands the coupon over. Artist one looks the coupon over and gives it the OK, and returns it to NB, but the coupon has stuck to his finger due to snot ball adhesive (gross contact cement effect). When NB takes the coupon back, it stretches the snot bond in a gross visual effect. The thermometer on the wall is reading 80 degrees Fahrenheit, and the wilting food in the containers is looking very unappetizing. The two sandwich artists are wearing white muscle t-shirts, covered with food stains and huge sweat stains around their arm pits. Both sandwich artists are sporting over-the-top hairy chests, and they are both soaked in sweat.
KC and NB order their sandwiches and the servers are extremely stingy with the condiments, sandwich toppings, and other contents. Artist number two picks up the two 12 inch buns and they are they are totally limp. In each hand, two inches of bun is held in his fist, while the other ten inches of bun is hanging straight down and flaccid (an obviously phallic scene for laughs). Artist two says “it must be the hot weather. Do you guys want some Viagra with your sandwiches?” looking down and laughing at the flaccid buns.
KC goes first, and orders a chipotle beef steak and cheese. The beef is a very stingy serving, and KC says “is that all?” to which the server responds “that’s it with a coupon Sir!’ with a cheesy smile. “What else would you like on it?” KC responds “extra lettuce, tomato, olives, green peppers, onions, mustard and pepper please.” As the artist is preparing the sandwich, the topping amounts are very minimal. One slice of tomato, a few strands of discoloured lettuce, one piece of green pepper etc. KC is watching in disbelief as the sandwich is wrapped up.
KC is somewhat angry and says “I thought I said extra lettuce” to which the sandwich artist replies “I gave you extra lettuce. Any more and my boss will become very unhappy with me.” After a pause he adds “and I don’t wish to loose my job.” Then NB orders his Turkey Breast sandwich, and notices the artist placing a tiny peace of Turkey breast on his bun, and again NB looks at disbelief at the stingy serving size. “Would you like anything else with your sandwich?” hoping the response will be no. NB responds “everything except banana peppers, and extra tomatoes please.” The sandwich artist responds “I’m so sorry Sir, but I gave your friend the last slice of tomato.” NB says “OK well what about extra cucumber?” The sandwich artist says “OK I can give extra” and places one small piece of cucumber on the sandwich. NB asks “Is that all?” The sandwich artist responds “I will be obliged to charge extra if you would like more Sir. I am so very sorry.” NB says “Forget it. Just give me some extra hot sauce then.” The artist squeezes the hot sauce bottle and only spray and fart-like sounds come out. The sandwich artists says “as you like it Sir. Is that enough?”
KC and NB go to the register to pay, and hand over the coupon and payment. The sandwich artist wipes his snotty nose on his hand while handing the change back to KC. “Thank you. Come again. Enjoy your lunch” as he sarcastically smiles. KC and NB take their sandwiches to a table, unwrap them, and the camera can see what poor specimens of food prep have been served. KC and NB take bites simultaneously, chew a bit and then spit out the food in disgust. In the background, sandwich artist number two has now commenced nose excavations with his index finger, while sandwich artist number one is shaving over the food prep area.
Artist one knocks the head off his electric razor by accident, and the entire build up of hair trimmings spills into the meatball marinara sauce. Pretending nobody is watching, he takes a spoon and stirs all the hairs into the sauce. He continues shaving as if nothing has happened! MS and NB look at each other, and one of them says “this stuff is shite, lets get the hell outta’ here” and they exit the premises in haste. The two artists bid them fair well. The sandwich artist who is shaving says “next time I recommend trying the Meatball Marianna sandwich. Very good!” (NB and KC look at each other as they’re going out the door with “with no frickin’ way” expressions on their faces.)
As KC and NB leave, MS is still observing from the other side of the street. People are walking past him oblivious to his presence. The camera sees him, but maybe nobody else can see him. The camera shows MS’s left hand and lit cigarette, and tattooed letters on fingers read “L O S E.” KC and NB get in their vehicle and drive off. The scene fades to the next scene.
Scene 47) 4 PM at the Station
This scene opens with KC and NB walking into the police station. All three witnesses are waiting for them in the reception area. All three are sitting on a bench seat, with Melanie seated in between the Rob Halford and Monster Magnet clerks. The Monster Magnet (MM) clerk is wearing reflective cop glasses gazing intently at Melanie’s knockers, as is the Rob Halford clerk. Melanie is chewing gum and oblivious. Rob Halford and Melanie look up towards to KC and NB as they enter the reception area, but MM continues to stare at her chest. KC welcomes them all, and leads them into the police artist’s studio.
Scene 48)
The police artist is a gay fellow named Pat McGroyne, a Gene Simmons camp-type. He sports Elton John short hair, and a bouffant lacy shirt with a big collar and cuffs. A heavy lisp and limp wrists completes the very effeminate picture. As they all enter Pat’s office, Pat is giggling on the phone, saying something like “oh boy, he was hung like a horse! Boy what an animal, he wouldn’t stop all night, and I only just met him in the gym men’s room on the weekend.” KC is standing with everyone behind Pat’s desk, and starts clearing his throat with loud and exaggerated “Hhmmm! Hhmmm!” in an attempt to get Pat’s attention. Pat responds with “Woops, gotta go!” Pat welcomes them all with “and who are these beautiful people we have today KC?”
KC introduces Pat to the three witness of the recent musician murder case, and explains they all got good views of the key person of interest “and hopefully we can all work together to get this composite done today.” Pat says “I work better with some nice music, it inspires me. Does anyone mind?” Everyone is OK with that, and as Pat puts the music on he says “everyone have a seat at the table, make yourself nice and comfy, and watch your touches (rear ends) on those very hard wooden chairs!” He goes to his CD stack and selects a tune (with obvious gay overtones, such Macho Man, Boy George, Erasure, Pansy Division) as he starts to dance very gaily to the tunes. NB and KC, and the clerks from Sin City Records and Thunder Music make faces and puzzled looks.
KC announces to the group “I want everyone to reach back in their memory, and tell us in great detail all the physical characteristics of the person that dropped off the CD. You all saw him, and we’re sure you all saw the same person. Don’t hold anything back. Pat is an expert and one of the most experienced artists on the force.” Pat is positioned behind his easel during the session and starts by saying “oh yes, I’m very experienced” as he winks at NB. NB turns around hoping the wink was directed at someone behind him (which it was not!) Pat says “So who wants to go first. Don’t be shy! I won’t bite! Well not here anyhow.” After an uncomfortable pause, KC says breaks the tension by saying “OK let’s start with his face.”
Melanie says “well what I remember about him was he was really ugly, with really long hair down to his shoulders. Like Ozzy Osborne.” MM says “Well yeah, it was like mine, jet black, parted in the middle, and very greasy.” Pat says “how long was it? His hair that is?” (Nobody gets the joke, except KC who snickers quietly). Rob Halford signals with his two hands at his shoulders saying “it was down to here.” Pat asks “was it straight or did it have a little kink in it?” (With a smirk) MM responds “no man, it was straighter, exactly like mine.”
Pat says “Let’s talk about his facial features.” Melanie says “I remember he had a big wart on his left cheek, with all these gnarly hairs growing out of it. And oh yeah, his eyebrows met in the middle.” MM chirps in “that’s called a unibrow, man” to which KC says ‘you must be an Oasis fan” to which MM responds “Not me dude. But your wanted-man certainly digs that gig.” Melanie adds “his teeth were really groadie to the max, gag me with a spoon, like totally Austin Powers!” Rob Halford adds ‘they were rotten, crooked, and stained, whew, and his breath stunk of booze and smokes.” Pat then says “well let’s stay focused on the physical attributes people. Did he have any facial hair?”
MM says “this dude looks like a hard-core Motorhead fan circa 1981, if I’ve ever seen one!” Pat says “Ooohh! I like a man in leather and biker boots. This sounds very interesting.” MM says “Ahh ... yeah right. OK. He’s got heavy duty, really wide mutton chop side burns, and this really full-on biker moustache that forms a goatee, and it then connects with the mutton chops” (as he assists the description by motioning around his chin with his hands).
Pat asks “What about his nose and eyes?” Rob Halford responds “I don’t remember his schnozzle, but his eyes were dark and beady, and bloodshot. Looked like he’s been stoned for decades.” MM adds “Yeah, this dude looks like he worked security at Altamont.” Melanie asks “What’s Altamont”? KC answers “It was a Stones concert in the late 60s that turned ugly.” And MM adds “yeah, well this dude looked like he was dead, I mean he was more out of it than me.” Rob Halford says “that’s right, I remember his eyes now. They were very lifeless. They looked right through you.” Melanie adds “I remember his nose. It was long and thin, and crooked. Kind of like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz.” MM says “sounds like you’re describing Geddy Lee?” (Subject to change on recommendation of legal counsel.) Pat interjects “OK I got it. Long, thin, and crooked. I’ve seen more than a few of those” as we winks again at NB.
Then Pat asks “What about any facial blemishes? What was his skin like?” Melanie responds “He really needed a complete facial. I mean his face was covered in pock marks and there were some puss-filled zits as well.” NB adds “Sounds like our man is a regular at McDonalds!” Pat then says “well I think we got enough for the face, let’s move down. What was he wearing?” Rob Halford says “This guy was totally hell bent for leather. We’re talking black leather jacket, bullet belt, square toed biker boots, black denim pants, black t-shirt with some rock band logo on it, but I don’t remember which one.” MM adds “Yeah that’s it man. And he was wearing these really cool rings and shit. And man, this dude must have been one hell of a smoker.” KC asks “How do you know that?” “MM responds “there were heavy duty nicotine stains on his fingers.” Pat says “what about any tattoos?” They all remember there being some kind of tattooed letters on his knuckles, but were unsure of what it said.
Pat asks “What about his build? That’s my favourite part!” Melanie answers “when I was sitting at my desk and he appeared in front of me, he was towering over my desk. Very tall.” Rob Halford adds “yeah, well I’m five foot ten, and he must have at least eight to ten inches on me.” Pat perks up and says “Hello! Did I hear eight to ten inches?” as he looks at NB, and winks and mimes in a whisper “eight to ten inches!” Pat then says “What was his build and weight? Was he a beefcake and nicely muscled, or tall and lanky?” Rob Halford fires back in a mock prissy whisper “I think he was nicely muscled. Sounds like your type of man!” Melanie adds “My last boyfriend was a bouncer at Gazari’s on the Strip, and he was six foot six and weighed two hundred and forty pounds. What a hunk. Oh this guy must have been at least two hundred and fifty pounds.”
KC wraps up with “Well Pat, sounds like you got an excellent description to work with. What do you have to show us?” (Pat looks at KC leeringly) and KC adds “No Pat. The Drawing if you’d be so kind.” Pat presents the drawing to all present by turning his easel around, and there is a moment of silence, as they are all transfixed and absorbing the drawing. It is a very accurate portrait. MM and Rob Halford look at each other nodding their heads saying “That’s amazing. That’s him” and Melanie says “yeah, like totally him.”
KC thanks everyone for attending, and instructs NB to contact the police media department to get this rendering of the person of interest out to the newspapers and TV news outlets as soon as possible. They also arrange for copies of the rendering to be made for in-house distribution, posting on the police department website, and they need copies to take with them on their field investigations.
Scene 49)
KC and NB are in their office waiting for the 6 o’clock news report, which will present the rendering of the person of interest in the three murders. They hope the news report will bring some leads. The office TV is on, and shows the anchorman closing with “If you have seen this person, he is considered armed and extremely dangerous. Please dial 911 or call the LAPD at 344-456-7890.” KC and NB then turn off the TV. They’re passing time. NB is clipping his toe nails, KC is looking in a mirror and plucking his eye-brows and nose hairs (giving a pouting look into the mirror as he preens and admires himself). The phone rings and KC says “Let’s hope we’ve got a lead here. Can’t a guy get a few minutes peace and rest.” NB retorts “you mean to pluck your eye-brows” to which KC snaps back “Well at least I don’t have a crush on Pat. Answer the phone would you.”
Call from Uncle Strange to NB just showing NB (1815)
Uncle Strange, the soundman from Lemmy’s club is calling to report he’s seen the person of interest. Calling from the club (with very loud music in background) he says “hello, this is Uncle Strange calling from A&T’s, and fuck, fuck, fickerrrr I can tell you I’ve seen that dude a few times over the last several days hanging’ out here.” NB asks “hello, I beg your pardon?” Uncle Strange says “What are you talking about? I beg your pardon.” NB responds “Sorry. I heard someone swearing on the phone. It must have been a crossed-line. Oh yes, very interesting, thank you for calling. We’re gonna come out this evening and have a mano-a-mano chat with you, if that’s OK?” Strange responds “well it’s gonna be loud tonight with the BOFHMB contest, so bring your earplugs urgh!!! Grunt Grunt pussy licker!!” NB responds “hello… again somebody cussed at me. Was that you?” Strange responds “I never heard it” and NB says “Well excuse me; this phone has a bad connection. We’ll be there shortly.” As NB ends the call, he looks at KC and says “I could have sworn that guy was swearing at me. He says it wasn’t him though. We’ll sort him out in a bit.” As KC and NB leave their office, they ask their duty sergeant to forward any calls regarding the person of interest to KC’s cell phone.
Scene 50) in the car going to club
KC and NB are in the car and KC’s phone rings. (The ring tone is a heavy metal tune!) It is another lead from the news report. The camera shows a one-sided conversation between KC and the unseen caller, who informs KC that she saw the person of interest also at A&T’s. KC is getting information over the phone from a female voice, and at the end of the conversation the caller states she is at the club this evening, and her name is Candy. “Just ask for Candy. Everybody knows me down here. You can’t miss me.” KC hangs the phone up and tells NB “we’ve got a second lead to follow-up tonight, also down at the club.”
Scene 51)
KC and NB’s car pulls up in front of club and both enter through the front doors. The same bouncer is at the entrance and says “Hi guys. It’s the BOTHMB contest tonight, $5 cover dawg.” KC flashes his badge and says “we’re on duty” and the bouncer responds “but the starving musicians need to get paid” and KC says “You’re right! That’s the truth.” KC and NB both pay the cover and enter the club.
Lemmy approaches KC and NB as soon as they enter, and greets them and they have a brief chat. Lemmy says “I saw the clip this evening on the news. Have you got any leads?” KC says “funny you ask, we had two calls, both from your club. That’s why we’re here now. One was from Uncle Strange, and the other was from some broad named Candy. Is Strange available now?” Lemmy says “He’s just over at the mixing desk. Let me go get him for you. We’ve got some time as the first band isn’t on for a bit. Have a seat here, I’ll bring him over. Oh, and by the way, he’s got Tourette’s syndrome. So don’t mind his vulgar outbursts. He can’t help it, and he means no harm. He’s a very decent fellow.” Uncle Strange joins KC and NB at the table. Uncle Strange is about 55 years old, with a pot belly, wearing a black, sleeveless heavy metal t-shirt, with bundles of underarm hair protruding from his arm pits. He’s bald with a bowl-cut style 6 inch halo around his head, made up from his long, greasy, stringy hair. KC and NB show the photo of the person of interest to Strange, and they ask him for details.
Q) “When did you see him last?”
A) “I saw him yesterday and the day before shitfaced wankers.”
Q) “Who was he with?”
A) “Always by himself. Never gets a drink. Keeps to himself. Tight-fisted bastard.”
Q) “When does he typically show up here?”
A) “About this time, but I never see him come or go. One time I saw him over there in the corner, and I looked away for a minute, and when I looked back, he was nowhere to be seen.”
Q) “How come you noticed him apart from everyone else in this joint?”
A) “Stinky shit burger he’s got big mutton chops like me, and nobody else has them here, and he was about my age. And he was staring at me. And the same thing happened the next day.”
Q) “Did you speak to him?”
A) “I never had the chance because I was at the other end of the room both days, setting up the stage, and by the time I finished, he was gone. Fuck! Pussy Juice!”
Q) “Did anybody speak to him?”
A) “I didn’t notice…. Don’t think so fuckin’ asswipe.”
Q) “What was he wearing?”
A) “Just like in your drawing on the TV, a black leather jacket, jeans, biker boots and a bullet belt.”
Q) “Is there anything else you can tell us about him?”
A) “Well there is one thing. I noticed bad breath he was wearing a black t-shirt with the word Vulcans on it. I am assuming it’s a band’s name. But if it is a band, I’ve never heard of them.”
KC and NB thank Strange for his time and for calling them, and they ask him “Oh, can you point someone by the name of Candy out to us please?” And Strange says “fudge packer cocksucker oh that’s Candy over there” pointing to a curvy, blond bombshell on the other side of the room with her back to them.
Lemmy is on stage and welcoming the Strap-ons, who start playing their brand of heavy metal music. There are lots of pelvic gyrations on stage, with guys and women at front stage reaching up and touching the hardware, and making crude gestures. The music is playing very loudly. As KC and NB walk towards Candy, they have to go through the centre stage area.
Scene 52) Interview with Candy (inter cut with funny scenes from the stage and audience)
As KC and NB are walking towards Candy, NB and KC are jabbing each other ogling her figure (ass and legs). As they tap her on the shoulder, she’s chatting with a friend. (Camera actually films a curvy female from behind to trick the audience.) When Candy turns around to face NB and KC, it is blatantly obvious that Candy is a guy in drag (different actor in that a real female is used for the previous back shot), with heavy 5 o’clock shadow, square jaw, Adam’s apple, big hands, football player neck, hairy forearms with tattoos, 6 inch stilettos that are size 12, and very big false knockers. Candy explains she saw the person of interest in the men’s room. KC and NB have puzzled looks on their faces and ask “What the hell were you doing in the men’s room?” Candy responds “I went to the bathroom before I started work.” This response brings more puzzled looks from KC and NB. Candy says “didn’t you guys know? (whispering) “I’m a guy. Only three more months until I get my operation.”
KC and NB then ask Candy about details of his/her sighting of the person of interest. Candy responds “as I left the bathroom, there was a really strange guy standing just outside the entrance to the bathroom.” KC asks “what happened?” Candy responds “Well I winked at him and said hello big boy. I haven’t seen you around here before? What’s your name? He didn’t respond. So I asked him again. Still more silence. So I said playing hard to get are we? I couldn’t take my eyes off his crotch.” KC gestures with eyes knowingly, requesting more information.
Candy adds “Well let’s put it this way, he was pleased to see me, and I don’t think it was a pair of socks or a potato stuffed in his pocket! DD called me to help her at the bar, and by the time I looked back, he was gone. Completely gone from the club. I couldn’t believe he vanished so quickly. But that drawing you showed on the news this evening was definitely him.” KC asks “When did you see him? Was it the only one time?” Candy responds “I saw him yesterday around sixish when I started my shift. Oh, and I saw him a few times before as well over the past few days. That greasy, dirty, heavy metal biker look really gets my panties wet. I’d work here for nothing just to meet sexy men like that (as Candy winks over at a metal fan patron, mouthing “be there in a minute”). Maybe he’ll show up tonight. The music is gonna be good! I’ll let you know if I see him”
Scene 53)
KC and NB spend a few hours at the club watching the three bands, mingling with the crowd (during a three hour time lapse).
Watching the bands, ogling the girls, ordering drinks, speaking with people, KC and NB are casing the joint for clues and hoping the person of interest will show up. Fast forward time lapse shows clock hands going from 9-10-11-12 etc. Just as KC and NB are both starting to nod off, Candy runs over and startles them awake saying “He’s here! He’s here!” Retribution is on the stage, and it is extremely loud, and they yell “Where is he?” Candy responds “he’s over there, on the other side of the stage with those guys with the leather jackets.” All three of them scurry through the mayhem on the floor, past the stage, and the person of interest is talking to someone with his back showing. Candy points at his back. KC taps the fellow on the shoulder and he turns around. To everyone’s surprise it’s a black fellow, so obviously Candy was mistaken. While they are on this side of the club, the camera zooms out to show the real MS standing on his own on the opposite side of the club, wearing his shades. We can see KC and NB having a dialogue (no sound) with the black guy (apologizing) with musicians on stage playing loudly. KC and NB walk back to their chairs, and the wide-angle camera view shows them walking back. Once seated, the camera focuses on NB and KC close up, and then focuses on MS in the background (as KC and NB go out of focus).
NB tells KC “I’m going home. I’ll get a taxi. See you tomorrow.” NB departs and leaves KC sitting at the table, pondering the evening. Lemmy takes the stage and announces the winner of this evening’s runner-up contest, and the last band Beast closes the evening with their last number.
Scene 54) 0100 AM day 4
Beast lead singer Rudi “Thor” Schlect (German name) is drunk, and is seen being dropped off at his apartment building by his band mates from their band wagon. Heavy metal pleasantries are exchanged as they bid each morbid and wet dreams. One of Thor’s band mates hands the marked CD to him as he leaves the vehicle saying “Hey man, you need to check out this new CD. You’re gonna love it. Just picked it up at Ear Ache Records today!” Thor enters the front door of his apartment and the middle-aged (very buxom) lady next door is peeping through her front door, which is ajar. The door is secured with security chain attached. She is poking her nose through her bolted door watching him come home. She’s a busy body type, ever present. Thor gives her a rapper crotch grab in response, and she gives him a stern look and slams her door shut. The camera shows Thor in his apartment going to the fridge to get a beer. He takes the beer and sits on the couch, and picks up his guitar. He turns on his TV to the cable porn channel, to which he comments “Now this is the life!” Soon after, there is a knock at his door. Thor initially ignores it. The knocking continues, so he grunts, stands up, and goes to check the door, being disturbed from his favorite TV viewing.
As he walks to the door, he has a woody at full mast in his pants. He looks through the peephole, and then opens the door. It is his lonely neighbour, Cathy Kuntz. “I need to borrow some sugar” she asks, as she looks down at his mast. Thor does not flinch, and responds “Sugar? Yeah, I got loads of that. Do you want to come in?”
The camera shows Cathy entering Thor’s apartment and the two of them entering the living room. An outside camera view shows the back of MS’s head and shoulders, with his breathing sound, as MS is watching the proceedings in Schlecht’s apartment. A light, flimsy see-through white curtain shows a silhouette view of what is happening inside the apartment.
The porno channel is playing, and Cathy asks “What are you watching?” Thor responds “I think it is called Revenge of the Top Heavy Women” as he is talking to her cleavage, still sporting a full mast. Cathy half-seriously responds “I think I’ve seen that one before. Is that with Charles Bronson?” Thor responds “Ahhh … no. This one stars Miles O’Tool and Busty Gozungas. They’re new in the business.” She responds “I haven’t heard of them before, but the movie looks very interesting.” He says “I’ll get you a drink” and she responds “no I’ll get it” and she accidentally bumps into Schlecht’s mast, and comments ‘Looks like you’ve been working out.” She looks down and asks “Have you been eating for two?” Schlecht responds “He comes to life after 1 am, and has a mind of his own.” (Camera shot of throbbing mast with funny boiiiinnngg sounds).
Cathy looks at her watch (time is 01:15 am) and says “looks like my timing is perfect!” Schlecht says “Look what I found. You’ve heard of Little Richard right?” Cathy responds “yes, the 50s musician right” and Schlect responds “well now its time to meet Big Richard” as he drops he trousers. Camera sight gag from outside shows pants being dropped and a massive cucumber-like dong flopping down from pointing skywards to pointing horizontal, with exaggerated bouncing into position and boinggg sounds. The camera shows MS outside and he’s not enjoying the show, and grunting accordingly in displeasure. Schlecht asks “Would you like some milk with your sugar?” Cathy says “I like it warm” Thor says “How about Body temperature?”
(Several shots of MS watching from outside are interlaced with the above scene. MS’s facial expression indicates he’s still not enjoying the show.)
Thor and Cathy embrace and fall onto the sofa en flagrante. Thor blows his load almost immediately onto her nightdress, and Cathy asks “Is that it?” Then she notices there is a slight sticky stain on her clothing, and angrily exclaims “Jesus Christ! I just bought this silk nightie last week and now it’s ruined, you moron. That’s it. I’m out of here.”
Thor responds “Well that was good for me. Oh and by the way, don’t worry I’ll buy you another nightie. Where did you get that one, Wal-Mart?” Thor adds “Well at least I got it in this time. I usually can’t even get that far. Must have been the beers and taco supremes I had for dinner!” Cathy then prepares herself to leave, hair ruffled, boobs hanging out etc. Thor says “I think you left something behind” as he lifts up her bunched knickers off the floor. Cathy says “oh yeah” as she lifts the sugar bowl off the kitchen counter top and leaves saying “next time can I suggest an extra large helping of Viagra for desert? Might help you hold your load Captain Early Release!” Schlecht then relaxes on his sofa for a moment, and then gets up to open the patio door to get some fresh air. He stands there for a moment. (MS is still watching from outside.)
Thor then sits down on his sofa, and starts listening to the CD after casually looking at the cover. He presses the random button on the CD player and it randomly selects the last track first, and Schlecht falls asleep listening to the marked track. Fade to black as the chorus plays “you’re gonna die ... you’re gonna die” and all fades into the next scene.
Scene 55) Nightmare scene (scene is dreamt by KC after he leaves the club that night)
KC goes to the men’s room, looks in the mirror, and takes out the artist’s impression of MS and studies it in silence. He then folds it back into his pocket and has a leak. As he is peeing, the background music from the club slowly fades to nothing. When he exits the bathroom, the entire club is in darkness and silent. One dim light is flickering making a static noise. Nobody is there except KC. It is very eerie. KC slowly walks into the main club area and when he arrives, a spot light comes on, and a tall dark figure (MS) is standing at centre stage, wearing a brimmed hat. The figure is tall, dark, and very menacing. The downward shining spotlight casts his face is a shadow from the brim of the hat. Maybe the figure is faceless.
The camera shows the figure’s hands (with tattoos), and in one hand is a noose. The figure slowly starts to walk off the stage and heads towards KC. The subtle sound of KC’s heartbeat increases. KC reaches for his side holster, and his police-issue gun is not there. KC cannot move as he is frozen in fear on the spot. KC yells in a panic “What do you want? Who are you?” There is no reply. The figure looms closer, and closer. KC cannot move. His heart is pounding louder and faster. When the figure reaches KC, its hands stretch outwards with intention of placing the noose over his head. KC wakes from his nightmare bolting upright in his bed covered in sweat. The artist’s impression of MS is unfolded on the night table beside the bed. KC sits bolt upright in his bed, and then goes back to sleep. His bedside night clock reads 0300 AM.
Scene 56 Murder No 4 Murder Scene
After the sexual liaison with his horny neighbour, Thor is sleeping on his sofa wearing his stereo headphones. He is awoken with wind blowing from his open patio door (which was closed in scene 54). Thor is cold, so he goes to close the door, holding a beer bottle, having a swig. He has sobered up a bit. As he closes the patio door, he sees the reflection of MS standing right behind him in the mirror of the patio door. MS is behind him inside the apartment. This causes Thor to turn around in a panic. He drops the beer bottle on to the floor. The camera shows the bottle on floor, and Thor’s feet lifting off the ground to the muffled sounds of choking. As Thor is getting dispatched, the marked track is playing loudly. The camera shows the back of the Thor’s head as MS is strangling him, and we see a very satisfied look on MS’s face. Immediate cut to next scene with phone ringing.
Scene 57
KC is in bed sleeping, and his phone rings. His bedside night clock shows 6 am. KC says “Hello, KC. This better be good at this hour.” The female dispatcher on the other end of the line tells KC that there has been another murder, and it looks like it follows the same pattern as the previous three heavy metal musician murders. He takes the details of the location and gets going.
Scene 58 Thor’s apartment building
The entrance of Thor’s apartment building is cluttered with police cars and ambulances. KC and NB are escorted by officers into Thor’s apartment. Cathy discovered the deceased Thor, and is crying in the apartment and is being consoled by officers. Thor’s body has been strung up by a noose, which has been tied around the light fixture in the ceiling. KC, NB and the other police officers see the body suspended and dangling from the light fixture. KC and NB look at the strung up body in disbelief, as forensic officers photograph the crime scene. KC then says “OK boys lets take it down” and then KC and NB walk into the other room where Cathy is being consoled. With their backs to Thor’s body, there is a great crashing sound as the weight of the body suddenly rips the light fixture from the ceiling along with a large portion of drywall, and the whole mess comes crashing to the floor. There is a very a loud thud, and a large cloud of white dust appears. Everyone stops in their tracks and all turn around looking towards the source of the commotion.
The room is filled with white dust and everyone is covered in dust and debris. Everyone can see the body with the noose around the neck (attached to a ceiling light fitting) clumped on the floor, and numerous pieces of ceiling gyp-rock are scattered around the body. The camera shows a massive hole in ceiling, and moments later, an older matronly English woman with a skillet of frying bacon peers through the hole in the ceiling, and she shouts down “I’ve just about had enough of the racket from that lout down there, let me tell you. And now this is the final straw. I’ve had it up to here! I’ll be taking this up with the building management right away!” She walks away muttering “tight fisted bastards!” As she is talking down to the cops through the hole in the ceiling, everyone can see up her skirt and it is not a pretty sight. NB says to KC “Oh that reminds me of an old joke, how does a Frenchman know how to put on his underwear?” KC responds “don’t tell me, yellow spot to the front and brown stripe to the back, right?” NB says “yeah” as they both look up and point at the lady’s underwear “just like that.”
KC says to NB “On a more serious note, I gotta tell you something Nige. I’m not sure what to believe here myself, but I had a very strange dream last night. I dreamt that I was at A&T’s and it was near to closing time, and I went to the washroom to take a leak. When I came out of the piss house, the place was deserted. Then out of nowhere, I saw a menacing figure coming towards me with a noose in his hands. I reached for my gun and it wasn’t there. I tried to move and couldn’t. The figure in the dream was this person (KC shows NB the folded up artists rendition of MS). And here is the freaky thing. That noose you see around his neck over there was the same noose in my dream.” NB responds “Whew. This is a very freaky coincidence” and KC concurs “yeah, very freaky.”
KC and NB have the opportunity to speak to Miss Kuntz (pronounce Koontz) about how she found the body. One of the officers brings over her statement and KC uses is it to address her. He introduces himself, and calls her Miss Cuntz (instead of Kuntz) throughout the short interview. She corrects him on each occasion, only for him to continue to mispronounce her name. Each time KC makes the mistake, NB can barely contain his hysterics. At one point he has to walk off into another room, where you can hear muffled titters.
Cathy is wearing a see-through nightie with the same stain on it from earlier in the evening, and the nightie is not hiding her ample bosom very well. As such, NB is ogling and distracted by her assets throughout the interview. They ask Cathy “When and how did you discover what happened here Ms. Kuntz?”
Collecting herself, but still teary and emotionally upset, Cathy responds “well I borrowed some sugar earlier in the evening from Thor, and I came back for more a few hours later around 7 am, because he didn’t give me enough the first time around. When I came to his door, it was ajar, and I called his name. There was no response so I called a few more times, so I decided to go inside.” KC asks “OK what happened next?”
“Well I went into his apartment, and found Thor’s body hanging from the ceiling in that room over there. At first I thought he was involved in some kind of kinky, self-gratifying sex act, but when I called out his name, I realized something was terribly wrong. So I immediately called 911.” She starts to sob again. “I was so shocked by this I actually crapped in my pants.” NB subtly sniffs the air and his nose twitches about. KC and NB ask Cathy “how long have you known Mr. Schlect?” Cathy responds “I have been here five years, and he was here when I moved in.” They ask “why were you coming over here during the wee hours of the morning to visit this gentleman, twice? It is a tad strange don’t you think?” To which Cathy responds “No not really.” KC says “It sounds a bit suspicious to me, and we need a better explanation than that. Do you want to talk here, or down at the station?” Cathy reluctantly responds “OK … well ... we were occasional fuck buddies, and last night I came over to see him at around 1:30 am.”
KC asks “did you see anyone or anything strange that can help in our investigation?” Cathy says “No I am sorry. I saw nothing.” NB walks over to the mantle piece and picks up a photo of the Vulcans and asks Cathy “Is this Thor’s band?” She answers “No that was his father’s band, The Vulcans. They were a heavy metal band. And that is Thor’s dad right there” and she points at the picture. KC asks “What’s his fathers’ name?” Cathy responds “I never met him, but Thor told me that he died many years ago in a freak industrial accident. Thor never told me any of the details, except that the band was called the Vulcans and they split up a long time ago.” KC clarifies “did you say the Vulcans?” Cathy confirms. NB then asks “Do you know when they broke up?” Cathy responds “I think it was in the late 70s, but I’m not sure.” KC and NB look at each other with a major sense of breakthrough, as this is the one peace of solid common evidence in all the murders so far! (The CDs being the same, and the all the victims being musicians up this point is circumstantial.)
KC and NB show Cathy the artist’s rendition of MS, but she tells them she has never seen him. As KC and NB thank Cathy for her time, she turns around to exit the scene, and KC and NB spot a large pancake in her underpants. As she attempts to walk away, her walking is restricted as she tries to keep the pancake contents from seeping out and downwards. KC and NB go back to the main room to look around, and they notice the marked CD case on the coffee table. The CD is in the CD player, which they remove and bag as evidence, and they take it with them.
Scene 59 (door-to-door interviews) at Thor’s apartment building
KC and NB proceed to interview Thor’s neighbors at the apartment building after speaking with Cathy. KC says “nobody leaves the building until we’re done speaking with everyone” and the officer standing by the front door in the lobby nods in agreement.
Scene structure: KC and NB knock on the first door and explain their investigation and ask the resident(s) if they have seen the person of interest (showing the artist’s rendition). Second and following doors do not have the introduction, as this would be redundant for the viewers.
Tenant 1) The English lady from upstairs is peering through her peep hole as KC and NB knock on door. “Piss off I don’t want any” she yells through the door. KC and NB flash their badges and she opens the door. KC and NB show the artist’s rendition but she never saw anything. (Starchy English music in background.)
Tenant 2) Two Caucasian gay fellows with towels around their waists. One is very butch (muscled) and the other is very effeminate (slim/ skinny). They never saw anything. (Culture Club or Wham music in background.)
Tenant 3) Stereotypical Hong Kong Chinese immigrant. Can hardly speak English. Wearing a very cheap suit and running shoes. Very hyper and very animated. KC and NB can’t get him to stop talking. He didn’t see anything. KC and NB have to close the door on him! Classical Chinese music in background.
Tenant 4) Cursing red-neck (Ted Nugent type) who yells from behind the door “this better be fuckin’ good, because you MF’s woke me up!” He’s wearing typical red neck attire including lumberjack vest, and stars and bars shirt, work boots, and 12 o’clock shadow. He didn’t see anything. Slams the door as he’s pissed off for being disturbed. Ted Nugent music in playing in the background.
Tenant 5) Goth couple looking like the girl from the Ring. Marilyn Manson type music playing in background. Sporting identical hair cuts, same pasty faces, same clothes, same ear rings, same tattoos etc. Silent nods and head shakes for responses. No talking. They didn’t see anything. Silent and very morose.
Tenant 6) Two Rastafarians with dreads and wrap-round snow boarder sun glasses come to door, with marijuana smoke billowing out from the door way, which causes KC and NB to cough. Reggae music is playing in the background. Both are smoking huge reefers and very much stoned. They are blowing smoke in the faces of KC and NB. They are blitzed and too far gone to be of use to KC and NB.
Tenant 7) Black guy, rapper type with basketball tank top and baseball cap on sideways, gold chains etc. He’s all jive/ghetto talk. KC and NB introduce themselves. Hard core rapper type music is playing in the background. KC and NB state their business in that one of the building tenants was murdered early this morning, and they ask him if he saw anything or anyone suspicious between midnight and 7am or thereabouts. KC and NB also show him the rendition, and he immediately recognizes MS. Then they ask him his name and he responds “Rapper Clevon DJ Black.” Black tells KC he saw MS leaving the front door of the premises when he arrived back home from a club around 3:30 AM.
KC and NB ask for more details of his MS sighting, and Clevon gives a description as follows: (jive talk / black street talk / hood talk). “This cat .. he’s a honky ‘bout 6ft 6” 250lbs. Man he was ugly. Long black greasy hair. Looked like he be sleepin’ in the streets, and his eyes sunk back in his head real deep. He looked liked he was on some bad shit baby. Yeahhhhhhhhh this cat was movin’ to split this dump pronto, like the law be comin’ down on him fast, you dig. I knew something wasn’t cool with that dude.” As Black is giving his description of MS, there is a short clip showing MS and Black passing each other in the lobby of the building. MS looks straight ahead while Black looks at MS with cautious curiosity.
KC asks Black “have you seen him before this morning?” Black responds “shit no baby, I never seen this dude.” DJ Black asks KC and NB “How did you guys get that drawing you showed me of this cat? Who is he?” KC and NB respond “this individual is wanted in connection with several recent murders, and we need to find him. If you have any more information please let us know” as they hand their business card to Black. (Black is doing rapper hand gestures throughout the conversation!) DJ Black closes door, which ends this scene.
Scene 60) Breakfast after Murder 4, 0900 AM
KC and NB decide to go for breakfast to the Heavy Metal Wi-Fi fast food joint, none other than Wolfang’s Pancake House and Beer Keller, which is painted on the sign outside the joint.
This German Heavy Metal themed pancake house is open 24/7. The staff all sport German accents and are decked out in Ramstein heavy metal regalia with shaved heads, studded ear rings, and lots of body tattoos and piercings. The male staff sport leather vests, while the female restaurant staff are decked out in skimpy g-strings, fish-net stockings, black nail polish, and German body art. German Thrash metal music is playing throughout the restaurant.
Just inside the doorway is a sign that says something like “self-seating will not be tolerated!” KC and NB enter and wait at the sign. After a very short wait, they are met at the sign by one of the hostesses (sporting a masculine, short-cropped hair cut died jet black) who is very scantly clad and looking very stern. She has a horse-riding whip in her hand, and says to KC and NB “You want to eat?” They nod to her and she says “come with me, now!” KC and NB follow her to a table where they are seated, and she throws down the menus on the table and barks “I’ll be back!” She turns her back and walks away with the camera following her ass, as she shakes it back and forth.
As KC and NB are looking at the menu, they notice that the only other customers in the place are four burly bikers (West Coast Choppers kind of people, but with gay undertones). Moments later, NB happens to catch the eye of one the bikers, who winks at NB amorously, and intimately adjusts his huge moustache whenever NB looks over. The waitress comes back and takes their order while putting her foot up on one of the spare chairs at their table, affording KC a very close look at her crotch area. She is shoving her crotch in their face. (Camel toe.) KC and NB place their orders and she goes away again wiggling her stuff. It is now apparent to KC and NB that all of the bikers at the other table are gay, and one of them is still showing too much interest in NB. Each time the camera is on the biker, he is signaling some form of subtle erotic mannerisms to show he is interested in NB. (Biting his lips, adjusting his moustache, tongue on top teeth, smiling etc.) NB is visibly unnerved each time, but attempts to keep the matter to himself.
The waitress brings KC and NB their coffees, and then leaves them to discuss the case. KC and NB try to pull all the facts together, but NB is frequently and uncomfortably distracted by the amorous advances of the biker with the handlebar moustache (who is a good looking, a Freddy Mercury –type).
KC begins to summarize “here’s what we’ve got” as he puts his Wi-Fi laptop on the table (along with their paper notebooks) and starts to type out their observations on the case thus far.
While typing, KC says “This Vulcans band connection is big. I’ve got a got a gut feeling that these four murders are definitely all connected.” He adds “Let’s note what we’ve got, starting with murder number one. We’ve got a young musician found murdered in his apartment with his head nearly cut off. And he was last listening to this CD” as KC holds up the CD and waves it. “No witnesses.”
“Number two. We’ve got another murdered young musician. This guy is found stuffed like a sardine into the back of his guitar amp. The kid’s mother says his old man was in a band called the Vulcans in the 80s. And his old man died under very strange circumstances, to say the least! And the same CD was found in his backpack.”
NB has been visibly agitated for a few minutes and KC looks up and catches NB looking over at the four bikers at the other table. KC says “Nige… Nige…!” NB looks back at KC in a perturbed state. KC asks “is this boring you? What’s up?” NB responds “See that biker over there with the walrus mustache? Well he’s a flaming poofter and the dude won’t stop looking at me. Fuckin’ bastard!” KC responds “Don’t flatter yourself too much Nige. Let’s get going!” as he taps his notebook. At this point, the bikers all stand up and collect themselves to leave the restaurant. The Freddy Mercury biker, still looking at NB, adjusts his crotch and winks at NB, with a smile and slight purse lips. NB can’t handle this and blurts out “Jesus Christ!” As the bikers walk past on their way out, Freddy drops his business card on the table for NB, and it says “Hugh Jorgen – Exotic Male Entertainer.”
KC continues. “Number three. Again, a young musician slash DJ is found in a secure room in a radio station strangled to death with a bullet belt. The marked CD was at the murder scene and listened to, and by very strange coincidence, it is the same CD as found at the previous two murder scenes. And we’ve got a witness, the receptionist, saying she saw this person of interest leaving the murder scene (as he holds up the artist’s rendition). Plus, this person of interest, coincidentally, may have been the same person that sold these CDs to all the record stores.”
“Murder number four. Similar situation. We’ve got a young musician found strung up with a noose, hanging from his living room ceiling. We’ve got the same CD yet again at the murder scene. Number four’s old man was in a band called the Vulcans, just like victim number two’s old man. And Clevon has given us our biggest lead in the case. He’s ID’d this person of interest as leaving the murder scene” as KC holds up the artist’s rendition.
For the first time, KC and NB are looking at the artist’s rendition and the CD cover side-by-side, and they both immediately recognize that there is an unmistakable resemblance of the face depicted on the CD, and the face of the person of interest as presented in the artist’s rendition. NB says to KC “it’s remarkable how similar they are in appearance” to which KC adds “someone is fucking with us, and we’re going to nail him.”
KC’s Conclusions:
“One. We need to find this person (still holding the artist’s rendition). Two. We need to find out about this band the Vulcans, and see if there is any connection to victims one and three.”
The waitress brings their meals and has the coffee pot with her, and tops up their coffees. She asks “would you boys like some milk with your coffee?” as the camera shows her headlights protruding through her skimpy top. Both NB and KC look at her knockers, and pause for a second or two, still staring at her knockers, and then respond “yessss please!” in unison. The waitress then turns around and walks away, again shaking her ass.
NB says to KC “I guess our next stop is to speak with the families of victim’s one and three.” Before he picks up his knife and fork, NB picks up Freddie’s business card and furiously rips it into many pieces and throws them into the ash try, as he mutters “Do I look gay to you?” KC responds “Not to me, but I think you’ve found a new friend over at the bar Nige.” The bartender is a bald-headed body-builder type wearing a well-fitting tank top. He is suggestively polishing a horizontal brass rail (back and forth very slowly as if to masturbate it) and looking over at NB with an admiring smile. End of scene.
Scene 61)
The camera shows KC and NB walking up to the front door of victim one’s house. Tommy’s mother answers the door, and KC and NB explain that they are following up some leads on the case, and would like to ask her some more questions. Mrs. Miller is in her mid to late 40s, and is still very much mourning her loss. She’s a typical, aging heavy-metal maiden. She is still wearing a denim vest jacket (frayed where arms ripped off), white tank-top t-shirt, no bra, busty with cleavage, tight jeans, heavy metal jewelry, and white running shoes. She’s quite an attractive package, the only detraction being a lit cigarette in hand.
She welcomes KC and NB to her living room, where they all sit down. She is initially very quiet. KC opens up by explaining “Mrs. Miller, I don’t know if you heard in the news, but there have been several murders similar to your son’s very unfortunate circumstances, and we believe that there might be a connection. Is your husband around as we’d like to speak with him as well?” Mrs. Miller responds “oh, I’m afraid Tommy’s father passed away a long time ago. He died in 1987.” KC asks “Mrs. Miller, by any chance was your husband a musician?” She responds “yes he was a musician. He was a very talented drummer actually. I met him when he was a musician back in the early-80s. He played in a few bands, but he worked construction during his last years.”
NB asks “Mrs. Miller, by any chance did your husband play in a band called the Vulcans?” She responds with surprise “Yes he did. That was his last band.” KC asks “Last band? What happened?” Mrs. Miller answers “It was a long time ago, and I don’t remember the exact details, but all I know is that they had some sort of falling out and spilt up.” NB asks “well I don’t mean to pry, but with all due respect, how did your husband die Mrs. Miller?” “Well it was when he worked construction. They were pouring concrete into the foundation for a very tall building. He fell into the forms and was buried alive in fast setting concrete. They just got him out before it all hardened, but it was too late. He had already suffocated… sniff sniff .. snivel snivel.”
KC asks “I know this is very painful for you Mrs. Miller. We’re sincerely very sorry but your information and help is crucial to the case. By any chance would you happen to have a picture of your husband’s band the Vulcans available?” She collects herself, and responds “Yes, I have one somewhere. Let me go look for it” and she goes to the other room and brings back a small, faded Polaroid photo, which she gives to KC and NB. “Do you mind if we hang on to this for a bit?” asks KC, to which she responds “no problem.”
Mrs. Miller asks “but what is the connection with the Vulcans, as this band has been gone for over 20 years? How can this help solve my son’s murder?” KC responds “well, in the last week we’ve had four, young male musicians murdered, and by some strange coincidence, three of the four victim’s fathers (including your son’s father) were in this band called the Vulcans. This connection might be a very important lead, and we need to act on this quickly. Thank you for your help Mrs. Miller. If you think of anything that can help, please call us.”
End of scene.
Scene 62)
NB and KC knock on the front door of the house of the parents of victim three, Frankie Brazil. Frankie’s mother, Angel answers the door, and KC and NB explain that they would like to ask her a few more questions regarding her son’s death. She responds by welcoming them in. “Mrs. Brazil, we have some new information that we are investigating, and we have some questions regarding your son’s father.”
“He’s been dead 20 years and he’s still causing me grief. How does he come into this?” KC explains “well mam, we have four unsolved murders, including your son’s, and we believe they’re linked somehow. What we’d like to ask you, and I know this might be painful, but was your late husband ever in a rock band called the Vulcans?” Mrs. Brazil responds “oh those bastards. Yes he was in that band.”
“Pete was their bass guitarist. He never brought home a paycheck while I was at home with the kids. He was always out boozing, skirt chasing and gambling while I busted my ass at the diner to put food on my kid’s table. As Angel is describing her husband, the screen will show her voice over scenes from the past: a heavy-metal bar scene, where her husband is acting obnoxious, drunk, with women all over him as he is acting like a typical, drunken heavy-metal asshole. The scene reverts back to Angel in the house. She asks “Why are you asking me about the Vulcans?”
NB answers “Well, in the last week we’ve had four, young male musicians murdered and, unbelievable as it may sound, all four of the victim’s fathers (including your son’s) were in this band called the Vulcans. This connection can’t be coincidence. There’s a definite linkage here, and we need to get to the bottom of this fast.” KC and NB ask her “is there anything about the band you can tell us that may help us? Do you have any photos, news clippings, anything we can borrow?” Mrs. Brazil responds “I threw all that stuff out a long time ago” and after a few seconds of silence she adds “You know, I did love my husband, even though he was a bastard some of the time. For the past eighteen years I have tried not to think about Pete’s death, but now with my son’s murder, and now your visit today, it’s all got me thinking again.” KC says “well, what happened? How did Pete die?”
Angel explains “I was always suspicious of his death. Pete had just started as a long distance semi driver. It was back in 1987. On a cold winter night, he was tired, and he pulled over his rig at a rest stop, to sleep for a few hours. The police told me a highway patrol car found him dead in his cab, with the engine running. It was carbon monoxide poisoning they told me. Well it was a brand new truck. They had no idea how it happened. It was the first decent job he had, and he left me with nothing. They never did find anything wrong with that truck, and to this day, I think he was murdered.”
KC says “I’m sorry to hear all this mam. It must be difficult for you. Why do you think Pete was murdered?” To which she responds “well, starting a few days before his death, Pete thought he was being followed. He wouldn’t tell me any of the details, and I felt something bad was about to happen. And then all of a sudden, Pete was dead. The police said they had absolutely no evidence indicating there was any foul play. Even though I told them Pete thought he was being followed, they dismissed it and pronounced his cause of death as an accident. But my instincts tell me something different.”
KC says “Regarding your son’s death, trust me when I say we’re going to find the person responsible, and we’re going to send him a way for a long time.”
(End of scene.)
Scene 63) Back at the Office
KC and NB split up the tasks. NB starts putting the facts up on to the white board on the wall. Meanwhile, KC goes to the internet and starts searching for information on the Vulcans (using Google or yahoo or whichever search engine is willing to sponsor the scene). The camera shows KC typing “Vulcans” into the search field, and it generates way too many hits. Then he enters “Vulcans rock band” and it generates the right response. Lots of useful hits. The first webpage KC drills into is a UBL-type website, where it gives the basic biography of the band, and a group photo. KC says to NB “Listen to this. On UBL it says the Vulcan had six band members. This sounds familiar, check’em out:
Johnny “six-pack” Miller on drums
Hans “The Mann” Schlecht on vocals
Pete “Jungle man” Brazil on base guitarist
Leon “who’s your daddy” Franklin on guitar
Johnny “The Real McCoy” Walker on guitar
Marshall “Born to Lose” Stack on guitar
“The first four Vulcan members’ sons have been murdered in the past week. Thus we need to speak with Messer’s Walker and Stack as quickly as possible, as these two guys are last two remaining Vulcan members.” KC then says “hang on, it says here the Vulcans split up in 1984, after guitarist and band member Marshall Stack vanished without a trace. Just as the band was reaching the peak of its popularity!”
NB says “It is incredible that the four Vulcan members’ sons have all been done in, over the past week. Someone is knocking these guys off one at a time like a grocery shopping list. We need to find out if Walker and Stack have sons, and fast, as they could be in grave danger.”
KC says to NB “You go to the database records. Search for any records on Marshall Stack and Johnny Walker, including death certificates, arrests, warrants, police records, photos, anything on these guys, pronto. I’m gonna continue my online search on both of these two characters, and let’s see what we’ve got.” NB leaves the office and KC starts searching. The scene flips back and forth between KC and NB as they’re searching.
NB does a police database search for Johnny Walker and finds his death certificate, some minor misdemeanors, but no criminal record. At time of death he was married with one son. Then he types “Marshall Stack, musician, Vulcans” into the database search engine. The computer immediately brings up MS’s police record, DOB, last known address, SIN, driver’s license, marital status (single with no next of kin), and criminal record (numerous pot busts, drunk driving, drunken and disorderly, etc). There is a small mug shot in the file. NB enlarges the photo, and is shocked to see the similarity between MS and the image in the artist’s rendition. (Scene shifts to KC.)
NB arrives back at KC’s office
NB says “You’re not gonna believe this. This is Marshall Stack’s file. Here is his file photo. This dude is the same fellow as in the artist’s impression. It can’t be, but it says he’s legally dead! Here’s his death certificate.” KC agrees “holy shit I don’t believe it. The similarity is unbelievable. Sure looks like the same dude to me! And why would all four of our recent murder victims, at the time of their deaths, all have in their possession CDs with covers that resemble our person of interest?” NB responds “well they all bought them from record stores.” And KC responds “That’s not quite correct. Number one and two bought the CDs from record stores. The person of interest not only dropped off the CD at the record stores, he also delivered the CD to the radio station where number three was murdered. We don’t know how number four got the CD. He either purchased it or was given a copy.”
KC adds saying “Look what I found. Listen to this Nige. The Vulcans Conspiracy.com website says Marshall Stack, raucous metal musician aged 30, founding member and guitarist of the short-lived 80s metal band the Vulcans mysteriously went missing on a cold, dark night on December 9, 1984, while the Vulcans were at the start of their USA tour. Half way between Los Angeles and Phoenix, the band stopped for a break in Blythe, California, a small town near the Arizona State line. According to the band members, Stack vanished then and there that night, without a trace, and was never seen again. The story goes, the other band members claimed Stack owed them money, and he abandoned the band and went AWOL to avoid his debts. It’s also alleged the band members were suspected of colluding in the murder of Marshall Stack, because Stack was allegedly steeling their money and drugs, and was cuckolding them.”
KC says “Stack was last seen alive leaving the stage with the band in West Hollywood, at the now closed Club Retrograde, on the evening of December 9, 1984. Witnesses at the Vulcan’s last-ever concert, claimed the band was bickering on stage, and were arguing in the dressing room before the concert. The following morning when the band arrived in Phoenix for their next tour stop, Stack wasn’t present. The tour continued without Stack, but the band met with commercial failure, and split up two years later.”
“A former roadie of the band claims he overheard the band members discussing Stack’s murder shortly after his disappearance. The website says the California DA’s office attempted to bring conspiracy to murder charges against the remaining five members of the Vulcans in 1986. However, charges were dropped due to lack of credible witnesses and evidence. The roadie’s evidence was tossed out of court because he was a drug addict, and prone to frequent hallucinations. Although Stack’s body was never found, he was declared legally dead by the State of California on February 20th, 1987. The strange twist of the Vulcan Conspiracy is that all of the remaining Vulcan band members all met with strange and grisly deaths throughout 1987, coincidentally, all taking place after February 20th, 1987, the date Marshall Stack was declared legally dead.”
“The theory further surmises that Stack’s band mates somehow disposed of his body the night of their West Hollywood concert, hiding it so as never to be found. The strangest thing of all, is that some people claim Marshall Stack escaped the attempted murder by his band mates and is still alive today. And the story goes that he is the one who murdered all his band mates, in revenge for attempting to kill him.”
KC says “as for the two remaining Vulcan band members, according to the Artist Direct website, Johnny Walker died in a tragic work-related accident in 1987. This leaves the last member being Marshall Stack. We need to determine if either of these guys have sons, because if they do, then they’re probably the next victims.”
NB says “got the info you asked for. The police database records tell us that Walker was married with one son, Ritchie Martin Walker, date of birth, September 12th 1983. Last known address is 4846 Candlestick Lane, West Hollywood.”
KC says “Let me Google search Ritchie Martin Walker… just a minute here…. Here we go. The Kerrang website current issue webpage says, quote “Ritchie Martin Walker, age 22 of Los Angeles, is an all-attitude, snot-nosed, foul-mouthed front-man for the up-and-coming heavy metal band called The Dongs, based in Los Angeles. The Dongs are one of the leading contenders at the BOTB contest at newly opened A&T’s in West Hollywood.” KC says “there’s also a photo of the band here.” KC asks NB “did you find out how Walker Sr. died Nige?”
NB responds “Yup. Johnny Walker Sr. died on October 12, 1987, in an apparent accidental work-related decapitation, believe it or not.” NB further explains that “he was a glazer working on high-rise buildings in downtown Los Angeles, and a sheet of 8X12 shatterproof glass broke loose while being hoisted by a crane. He was underneath and was immediately killed.”
KC says “let’s spread out the evidence we have so we can get a handle on this. Put the four CDs over here. Perfect. They’re all the same. Now, let’s have a look at the mug shot from Stack’s file. We’ll put it in the middle. Now, here’s the artist’s rendition” which he places to the right of the file photo. And, next to the artist’s rendition, KC places the band photo given to them by Mrs. Miller. NB remarks “everything we have is pointing to this Marshall Stack character. Dead or alive.”
KC further adds “Although Stack has been pronounced legally dead; there’s never been a body found, and no evidence to suggest he is in fact actually dead. The DA’s case from twenty years ago evidences a conflict between Stack and his deceased band mates, but there is nothing concrete that they killed him. Now somebody is killing the sons of the Vulcans. Why? I don’t know. Maybe Marshall Stack isn’t as dead as we think he is, and he or someone who looks like him is somehow involved?”
KC says “We need to find Ritchie Walker immediately. Based on what we know, Walker is next on the list. In the past week we’ve had four positive sightings of Marshall Stack or someone who looks very much like him, two at the club, and two at murder scenes. We need to get to Walker Jr. before Stack does, and maybe Walker will lead us to Stack.”
(End of office scene)
Scene 64 4PM car pulls up to Ritchie Walker’s house, with loud music emanating from squad car and house. (Could be the same radio station.)
As KC and NB pull up in front of Walker’s house, their radio is blaring away as they are listening to heavy metal station KNAC. As they turn off the radio, the sound of the same radio station continues in the background. KC and NB think the music is still coming from their car and they fiddle about with the knobs with no success. They then notice the music is coming from the open window of the basement suite that they have come to visit.
KC and NB walk up and knock on the door. Ritchie’s mother answers the door and says “if you guys are looking for Ritchie, he’s in the suite around the back in the basement, and knock really loud as he’ll never hear you!” and she slams the door on their face, without their being able to say a word.
KC and NB walk to the back basement suite entrance as the music gets louder, and they knock several times. Empty beer bottles, Dominos pizza boxes, and stained seats from a car are lying about. Knocking several more times, still no answer. The music is extremely loud. So KC and NB walk around to the main window of the suite. The window is open, so they peer in and see Ritchie en flagrante with an older woman (doggie style). In one hand he has a beer, and the other a cigarette. KC is waving through the window yelling “Hello! Excuse me but we need to speak with you!” Ritchie yells back “Oy! Fuck-off. I’m busy now” as he gives them the finger. Then NB flashes his badge and KC yells “We’re police officers! Open the door!” Ritchie yells back “Can’t you see I’m on the job right now. Can you guys come back in five minutes?”
KC responds “No! We need to speak now. Open the door now!” So Ritchie reaches over to his stereo and lowers the volume, and says to his partner “time for a break, I gotta speak to these two bozos!” Filmed from the waist up, we see Ritchie and his partner de-couple. She’s topless with boobs bouncing all over the place as she dashes to the bathroom shutting the door. Ritchie pulls on a pair of track pants and goes to answer the door. (Sight gag: obvious wet spots around his crotch area.) As Ritchie opens the door to KC and NB, he says “Now this better be fucking important. What do you guys want? Can’t you see I was busy?” NB says “We’re detectives and we need to speak immediately.” Ritchie responds “OK well come in. But this better be quick, because I’ve got a serious nut to bust off!”
NB and KC enter the suite. The camera takes a long shot of KC and NB entering the suite from a distance back in the alley. In the periphery of the shot, MS is standing on the side, but is out of focus. MS is a distance away in the back alley watching the proceedings. Throughout this entire scene, MS is watching from a distance. The camera never shows MS in full, but only shows his hands and cigarette, and his biker boots, pulling focus back and forth from MS’s hand to the basement suite. (It’s the same hand, with nicotine stains and rings from the Subway scene earlier in the film.)
Ritchie’s pad is decked out very similar to the pad of Tommy Miller (victim number one). It’s a typical single guy’s pad littered with stacks of beer bottles, dirty dishes, piles of laundry, cds all over the place, porno mags, ashtrays over-flowing, bongs, and there’s other drug paraphernalia lying about. Ritchie is a very muscular, body-builder type, weighing about 250 lbs. There are weights and barbells on the floor with protein powder, plastic bottles, and vials of anabolic steroids and syringes are on the coffee table. They all sit down on his well-used couch and KC reaches over and turns off the music. Instant silence prevails.
KC and NB explain who they are, and that they are investigating the four recent murders of young male musicians in West Hollywood. “Are you aware of the recent murders Ritchie?” asks KC. Ritchie takes a drag on his joint, and says “so what” as he blows the smoke into their faces. KC says “Look here Ritchie. We didn’t come here to watch you banging your old lady doggie-style, and get Mary Jane smoke blown in our faces by some snot-nosed, obnoxious tit like you. Sit back and listen, because we’ve got some important news you’ll want to take notice of.” Ritchie sits back in the sofa and reluctantly prepares to listen up, albeit with attitude written over all his face.
KC explains the situation. “We believe your life is in danger. The four guys recently murdered were all guys like you. Young male musicians in local heavy metal bands. And here’s the kicker. All of their fathers were in a 1980s metal band called the Vulcans. Does this ring a bell Ritchie?” Ritchie answers “Yeah so what” NB says “well your father, Johnny Walker, was in the same band, correct?” Ritchie says “Fuck yes.”
KC says “well you’re the last remaining son of all the Vulcan band members, and we believe you’re in grave danger. We have good reason to believe that one of the band members, Marshall Stack, who you may have heard of, is responsible for these killings. You’re probably next on his list.” Ritchie responds with bravado “You guys must take me for some kind of dork” (as he takes a drag from his joint). “I’m way ahead of you guys. I know all about the Vulcans, and the conspiracy theory about Marshall Stack, and the website, and everything.” KC asks “So you’ve seen the Vulcan Conspiracy website?” Ritchie retorts “Fuck man, everybody knows that story. That conspiracy stuff is all bullshit. They’re all dead. All the Vulcan band members including Marshall Stack, my dad, all of them, dead. So your killer is definitely some other dude.” NB asks “did you know the four young musicians who were murdered?” Ritchie responds “Yeah, I knew all those assholes. They were all losers anyway. Fuckin’ cokeheads. They had it coming, specially that JD guy” as he takes another big draw from his joint, and again blows the smoke towards KC and NB.
NB takes out the artist’s rendition and places on the table in front of Ritchie, and asks “have you seen this guy? Know who he is?” Ritchie studies the image and replies “yeah, that looks like Marshall Stack from my dad’s band. But he’s dead. Pushin’ up daisies somewhere.” KC answers “well, what you’re looking at is an artist’s impression of the possible murderer. And he looks one hell of a lot like Marshall Stack. This impression was drawn from information provided by four separate eyewitnesses.”
Ritchie responds “Yeah, but Stack is dead. This guy may look like him, but it definitely ain’t him. Fuck him anyway. If this asshole gets anywhere near me, I’ll pummel the living shit out of him. I have a black belt in Tae kwon Do, and I’m a Master in Jujitsu. Check this out” as he grabs the num chucks sitting on his kitchen table and performs an animated demo of their use while simultaneously high-kicking a punching bag that is suspended from his ceiling. KC and NC look at each other half in fear, and place their hands on their guns, ready to draw by instinct. Then Ritchie stops his demo.
KC and NB recommend that for his own security, they would like to place him under constant police protection. Ritchie responds “Do what you want, but don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself. And I’m real busy tonight. My band The Dongs is playing at the BOTHMB contest at A&T’s tonight, and first we’ve got practice.”
Ritchie’s girlfriend exits the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her mid-section. She picks her clothes up off the floor and goes into the bedroom. Her clothes were on the ground beside the stereo, near the CD tower. By picking up her clothes, she drew KC and NB’s attention over to the CD tower nearby. Both KC and NB take notice of a CD that looks similar to the marked CD. So this brings them to discussing the marked CDs.
KC says “one more thing Ritchie, have a look at this CD. Does it look familiar?” as he hands it over. Ritchie responds “Not really.” Then NB walks over and picks up the similar looking CD by the stereo, and brings it back to the sofa. KC says “Ritchie, this might be one hell of a coincidence, but at each of the murder scenes, a copy of this very CD was found in the murder victim’s CD player.”
NB says “Wow! This CD of yours is pretty similar. Who is the band? Where did you get it?” Ritchie responds “I got my own heavy metal website, called Metalgasm.com. People send me their demos all the time in the mail. I listen to them, write reviews, post tracks online, that kinda’ shit. I got this one a few days ago, and haven’t checked it out yet.” NB asks “Well who are they?” Ritchie responds “I have no idea who this band is man. It didn’t come with any letter or any other info” as he throws it back on the table.
KC compares the marked CD to Ritchie’s CD holding them side-by-side, and asks “do you mind if we borrow this for a while?” as he quickly opens the jewel case to make sure the CD is in the case. NB opens the marked CD, and the audience can see both CD jewel cases contain a plain silver home-burned CD. Ritchie says “yeah but you guys owe me one. And if the CD is any good, let me know.” NB asks “Just in case we need to reach you, what’s your cell number?” Ritchie answers “366-474-3837.
KC says “We’re going to have an unmarked police car follow you around tonight. He’s outside right now, so whenever and wherever you want to go he’ll be there, just a few steps behind so to speak” KC and NB leave Ritchie’s suite, as Ritchie gives them the devil horn hand salute. As Ritchie slams the door behind them, he yells out “Now where were we!” The camera shows KC and NB walking past the front window, while Ritchie is mounting his woman, to continue where they left off. The woman moans as Ritchie grunts while re-commencing his male duty. NB stops by the window to leer in, and KC pulls him along, and Ritchie is oblivious as he’s back on the job.
End of scene
Scene 65 (back at the office) 530 PM
When KC and NB arrive back at their office, and they have all the evidence laid out in front of them. NB suggests “Let’s listen to the CD Ritchie gave us. Maybe it will give us some kind of clue.” KC agrees. They place the generic home-burned silver cd into the CD player, and they start listening to the CD on the office ghetto blaster.
Scene cuts to Ritchie in his car.
Ritchie is stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic. He’s lost the police cruiser protecting him due to the heavy traffic. Ritchie opens the cover to the “Teach Yourself Heavy Metal Guitar” CD, and removes a home made generic silver CD from the case and puts it into the CD player. He hits the play button and track number one starts playing a slower number (for example, instrumental versions of Judas Priest’s Angel song from the current release Retribution CD, or something similar.)
Scene cuts back to KC and NB at the office.
The CD starts playing a generic heavy metal tune for a few moments, and KC and NB think they’re listening to the actual CD. This peaks their interest and they listen intently. However, a voice-over explains “Welcome to the Head Banger’s teach yourself heavy-metal guitar CD, volume 1. Although not essential for this course, we always suggest students have easy access to long greasy hair, mutton chops, tattoos, smokes, beer and lots of Jack Daniels!” KC and NB begin to skip through the CD to make sure it actually is a teach-yourself CD. The first track is a guitar tuning exercise. KC and NB look at each other puzzled.
Scene switches to Ritchie driving in his car.
Ritchie is still listening to track number one of the actual marked CD, sitting in parked traffic looking ahead, bored and smoking a reefer. This shot lasts perhaps 10 seconds. But, as his car starts to very slowly move ahead, the camera view filmed from the passenger seat shows a fleeting view of Marshall Stack standing on the side walk. The camera catches MS as he draws a cigarette out of his mouth down to his side, and his head slowly turns following Ritchie in the slower car. (Ritchie’s car is a beat-up 1982 Pontiac Parisian. There is a furry guitar hanging from the review mirror, with heavy metal stickers on the dash.) Then we see Ritchie look down at his CD player. Track number 1 stops and the display shows track 2.
Scene flips back to KC and NB as they hit track 2 on the teach-yourself CD.
This track starts with a Rob Halfordesque voice that yells “Well all you heavy metal maniacs, the first thing you guys need to conquer is heavy metal power chords!” (Raising his voice to a stage yell.) Thrashing guitar chords kick in. Then the Halfordesque voice yells over the guitar riffs “Check out the A5 power chord on the top of page two, and let’s go!” The riff starts, followed by drum beats. Both KC and NC are head banging with hair flying, and strumming their air guitars.
Scene switches to Ritchie in his car.
Ritchie is now listening to track 2, which is a faster tempo number and his car is moving faster (25 mph) and it is no longer bumper-to-bumper traffic. (Track 2 will be a faster beat number, to be determined.) The increased speed of the track matches the increased speed of his car. Ritchie immediately has to break and stop for a red light. His car is in front of the pedestrian crossing. A group of pedestrians crosses the street in front of him, and one of them is MS, who turns his head and looks at Ritchie, as he passes abeam Ritchie at his steering wheel. Ritchie subtly registers that he may have seen this guy before, or perhaps recognizes him from somewhere. But, in a split second discounts the thought. The light turns green, and his mind is right back to his music and the traffic (still smoking a joint). He drives off.
Scene switches back to KC and NB.
KC and NB are now listening to track 3 of the teach yourself CD. The voice-over says “OK you heavy metal maniacs, its now time to learn how to play lead guitar, like this!” A demo sound clip plays, featuring a lead guitar shredding out a wicked solo, with drums and rhythm guitar pulling it all together. KC and NB are still appreciating the CD, but they are looking at each other bemused. NB says “this definitely isn’t the right CD” and KC responds “yeah, Ritchie must have the actual CD, somewhere.” NB says “We’ve still got to check this CD and play all the tracks right to the end, just to make sure.” KC and NB are still listening to the track 3 lead guitar lesson.
Scene switches to Ritchie in his car.
Now Ritchie is also listening to track 3 (camera shows track 3 showing on the CD player). Track 3 is yet a faster number (to be determined) and the traffic and his car are moving at an increased pace in proportionate speed to the music. As Ritchie approaches a freeway overpass, he can see a figure (a man) standing on the overpass looking at the oncoming traffic below. The figure appears to have long hair and is dressed in black. The still figure appears to be watching Ritchie’s car as he approaches the overpass. As Ritchie’s car passes under the overpass, he strains upwards to see who the figure is. Ritchie sees enough to think that it might be the same figure he saw before, at the cross walk.
As Ritchie passes underneath the overpass, and the car exits the other side, he looks in his rearview mirror, a little longer than he should. To his shock, he sees the figure standing on the opposite side of where he was standing before, and the figure is now watching the car head off into the distance. It is spooky because there is a lot of traffic on the 4-lane overpass, and impossible for anyone to get across the street in a split second. Because Ritchie is transfixed looking at his rearview mirror, he drifts into the other lane, nearly causing an accident, with other cars honking their horns at him. After Ritchie regains control of his vehicle and gets back into his lane, he again looks back into the rearview mirror, and the figure is gone.
Scene switches to KC and NB.
KC and NB are sampling each of the tracks on the tutor CD, and all they can hear more guitar riffs, Halfordesque vocal gymnastics, and voice-over chapter introductions. KC and NB conclude that they are definitely listening to the wrong CD. As they draw this conclusion, KC says “I’m calling Ritchie right now” as he picks up the phone and calls. KC leaves a voice message saying “Hey Ritchie. Inspector Crotchkiss here. I need to speak with you immediately. Give me a call at 244-5682.” KC and NB are still listening to the tutor CD just to be thorough.
Scene switches back to Ritchie in his car, now on the freeway.
Track 4 is an appropriately fast temp number (to match the speed of the car and the building tension). When the track starts to play, Ritchie is doing 60 mph, and there is not too much traffic on the road. Ritchie notices a fast approaching vehicle in his rearview mirror (a Mustang or similar muscle car). As the car gets closer, he notices that the person in the passenger seat is the same figure he saw in the previous three scenes. Ritchie actually recognizes the figure as being MS. Ritchie is still smoking his joint, and perhaps his mind is playing tricks on him, as this would not be the first time! Ritchie takes a final draw on his joint, and throws it out the window. This intimates he’s suffering hallucinations, and that the fellow he keeps seeing is in his imagination. As he throws the joint out the window, the Mustang pulls tightly behind Ritchie’s vehicle, and then sharply pulls along side Ritchie.
Ritchie gets a close look at MS in the passenger seat, as the Mustang overtakes Ritchie’s vehicle on the left hand side. Ritchie sees MS looking straight ahead (and MS has an expressionless look on his face). Ritchie blinks and looks to the left again, and by this time Mustang has accelerated away. The Mustang’s rearview mirror is heavily tinted, so he cannot see either passenger or driver. Track 4 is playing loudly as this scene unfolds. We can hear Ritchie’s heartbeat increasing, as has become visibly disturbed by this. After an extended pause, track 5 starts to play. The track starts with an extended instrumental introduction. (The reason for the extended musical introduction of the marked track 5, is explained in the below paragraphs.)
Scene switches back to KC and NB at the office.
KC and NB are listening to the final track on the tutor CD, and they are now positively confident that the CD they are listening to is not marked in any way.
Scene switches to Ritchie in his car.
Ritchie is still doing 60 mph on the freeway, listening to the extended musical introduction to track 5. Ritchie is intently listening as he drives. He looks down at his in-dash CD player, then back to the road in front of him. Very suddenly, in the rear view mirror, the MS figure pivots upright from a lying down position in the middle of the back seat. This scares the hell out of Ritchie, as he sees MS in his rearview mirror. MS has his long hair over his eyes, smoking a cigarette that is peeping through his hair, and smoke is wafting upwards. With both hands (we see the tattoos on his fingers and nicotine stained finger nails as from the earlier scenes), MS then spreads the hair from his face to reveal his expressionless and rough-featured face. Ritchie is horrified. Is this his imagination running wild, or is it real? In shock he momentarily loses control of the car again, and the car wildly swerves into the other lane, cutting off a vehicle. The vehicle is being driven by the Canadian fellow from the bar, who roles down his window and yells at Ritchie with his donkey Canadian accent “pull your coke head outta your ass! Asshole!”
Scene switches back to KC and NB at the office.
The CD cover (which is in the possession of KC and NB) of the marked CD number 5 starts to glow and shake on the table (with help from Hollywood special effects). NB reaches down to hold the case and he gets burned and shocked because it is so hot. KC and NB can’t believe their eyes as this paranormal display continues for ten to fifteen seconds. When the display is over (and the dry ice clouds dissipate) KC and NB are shocked and cannot believe that the CD cover now matches identically with the other four marked CDs that are in front of them. KC blurts out “Did you see that? Holy shit! I don’t believe my eyes!” NB responds “I’ve never seen anything like this before. For the image to change, Ritchie must be playing the CD, right now!” KC responds “I’m definitely not one that believes in black magic, but there’s something very supernatural going on here. Let’s call Ritchie again and see if he knows anything.” KC hits the redial on his phone.
Scene switches back to Ritchie in his car
Ritchie’s cell phone starts ringing (it is a non-musical ring tone with a Gangster dude saying “Yo! Ansa ya’ fone mothufuka! Ansa ya’ fone mothufuka!) The cell phone ringing interrupts the mayhem on the freeway as Ritchie struggles to regain control of the car. MS is still in the back seat, still staring ahead, smoking his cigarette. MS says in a gravely, low tone voice “I’m gonna get you soon Ritchie.” Ritchie looks down and fumbles about for his ringing cell phone, and answers “yeahhhh!” in a panicked voice. As soon as he looks back in his rearview mirror, the MS figure has vanished.
Alternate version of above paragraph (funnier version)
Ritchie’s cell phone starts ringing (it is a non-musical ring tone with a Gangster dude saying “Yo! Ansa ya’ fone mothufuka! Ansa ya’ fone mothufuka!) The cell phone ringing interrupts the mayhem on the freeway as Ritchie struggles to regain control of the car. MS is still in the back seat, still staring ahead, smoking his cigarette. MS says in a gravely, low tone voice “I’m gonna get you soon Ritchie.” Ritchie looks down and fumbles about for his ringing cell phone, and answers very calmly “yeallo” and with a pause, he turns around to MS and says in a casual way “can you give me a second, I’ve got to take a call here, oh, and by the way, no smoking in my car please. I’ve got Asthma. And it’s bad for your health. And it stains your fingers.” As Ritchie looks back in his rearview mirror, the MS figure has vanished.
Track 5 is playing loudly in the background. KC says “Ritchie, its Inspector Crotchkiss here. That CD you gave us today, well you give us the wrong disc by mistake. We’ve got some teach-yourself guitar CD here. What CD are you playing right now?”
Ritchie, scared out of his wits, shouts “there’s definitely something very fucking weird going on here.” KC asks “What’s going on?” Ritchie responds “I’ve been seeing this MS guy everywhere for the past 10 minutes.” KC says “Go on, are you OK?” Ritchie responds in a panicked voice “Yeah, I’ll admit that I’ve been smoking a reefer. But this freakin’ guy just appeared in my back seat, and vanished as soon as you called me just now. I don’t know if this was my imagination or if it was real, but it seemed so fuckin’ real to me.” KC says “OK try to calm down Ritchie. Everything is going to be OK. Can you tell us where you saw him Ritchie?” Ritchie responds “well I think I saw him on an over-pass looking down at me. Then he was in the passenger seat of a car that passed me on the freeway. And just now he was right here in the backseat of my fucking car! I don’t know if I’m going fucking insane!”
KC again asks “Ritchie, what CD are you listening to right now?” Ritchie confirms that the CDs got mixed up, and he is in fact listening to the marked CD right now, while driving his car on the 405. KC then asks “What track are you listening to now Ritchie?” Ritchie responds “I’m listening to track 5.” KC tells Ritchie “listen up Ritchie you’re in grave danger. We need to get to you immediately!” Ritchie then asks “What the hell is going on?”
KC says “Look Ritchie, we don’t know what’s happening either, but this is what we’ve got. Just a few seconds ago, well that CD you gave us, the cover of it magically transformed in front of our very eyes. Now it matches the other four CDs we have from the previous murder scenes. I would not have believed it myself if I didn’t see it happen Ritchie, but my partner Nige is right here beside me, and he saw it too. This is very real.” Ritchie says “Well now what?”
KC responds “for some reason the CD changed when you played track 5. You’re telling us you’re seeing MS in the back of your car at the same time. Maybe the CD was planted for you, and the other four murder victims. It’s a strong possibility Ritchie. Thinking out loud, here’s my take on what’s happening. Maybe the four other murder victims listened to the same track on the planted CD as you are now listening to, and at some point soon after, for reasons we can’t explain, they were murdered. Kind of like a delayed curse of some kind.” Ritchie then says “yeah… yeah… ok ... so now what?”
KC asks “Where are you?” Ritchie explains “I’m on my way to A&T’s. I’m on the 405, just 10 minutes away.” KC says “Stay there until we get there. We’ll have another officer meet you at the entrance. Just stay there at the club.” Ritchie calms down and responds “Yeah, my band The Dongs is playing tonight, so I’m not going anywhere else other than the club. We’re going to win the BOTHMB concert tonight, and it’s gonna be awesome dude!” KC and NB remove a CD from one of the other four cases, and they start to listen to track 5.
Scene switches back to Ritchie in his car on the freeway and the lyrics to the marked song start to play.
The entire song is performed on film and as the lyrics unfold, they tell a story as follows:
MS was murdered by his band mates, and his body was buried in an equipment box. It took sixty minutes for MS suffocate to death. In revenge, the Spirit of MS hunted down and took vengeance on the band mates who murdered him. According to the curse, if his soul is disturbed from its eternal resting, it will rise to wreak vengeance on the descendents of his killers. The only way the curse and the killing in vengeance can be stopped, is by finding MS’s burial place so that his body can be given a proper burial, and his soul can be allowed to rest in peace. This would release his spirit from eternal torment and suffering.
The above lyrics and song will play while the screen shows flash back images of the following:
MS cavorting with several of his band mate’s girlfriends.
MS is relaxing in bed smoking a cigarette with one of his band mates’ girlfriends. Then one the band mates enters the room and an argument ensues.
MS is going through his band mates’ jackets and is pulling out a wallet and removing cash, and some nickel bags from the pockets.
MS is opening an envelope labeled “Vulcan Performance” and pulling out half the cash and stuffing it into his breast pocket (looking over his shoulder to make sure nobody sees him.)
MS is being wrestled to the floor in a scuffle with punches thrown. His hands and feet are tied by his band mates, and a gag is stuffed in his mouth. His lit cigarette falls out of his mouth.
The band mates throw a struggling MS into a wooden equipment case. In block black letters the word MARSHALL (as in the Marshall Amps logo) is stencil spray painted on all the sides.
The lid is placed on top, and nailed onto the box. The audience can hear muffled groans from inside. It takes one hour for MS to die.
Camera shows MS inside the box wiggling about in panic.
The band mates push the sealed box through a small doorway, and the box is pushed deep backwards into the darkness (out of sight). The door is slowly closed. The camera shows the Vulcans packing up the rest of their equipment. The camera pans onto the marquee above the front doors of Club Retrograde, which says “FINAL NIGHT TONIGHT” and another sign says “FOR LEASE”
The remaining band members are in the car, forming their pact of silence (as shown at the beginning of the film).
Present day: MS’s coffin is glowing with electrical discharges, as his spirit has been awoken by the noise of a heavy metal band is on stage at A&T’s. The club has just opened (as seen at the beginning of the film).
Clips of MS delivering the marked CDs to both record stores.
Clips of MS watching the police investigate the grisly murder scenes from a distance.
Clips of MS murdering some of the sons can be shown as the song plays. For example, the camera can show MS pulling Schlecht up to the light fixture, tightening the belt around Frankie Brazil’s neck, and walking across the room to kill Tommy Miller. For laughs (this is a rock’n’roll movie after all) MS has a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and one unlit smoke tucked behind his ear, in each of the murder scenes. MS’s face is showing some pleasure and satisfaction in carrying out his deeds.
Scene 66
KC and NB finish listening to track 5, and they are now clear as to what is happening.
KC says “Whoever wrote this song is telling us a story. And it is very similar to the story on the Vulcan Conspiracy website. MS was indeed murdered by his band mates, by being stuffed into an equipment box while still alive, at an undisclosed location. And his un-resting spirit when disturbed, will seek vengeance on those who killed him, and their offspring. The only way to break the curse, so to speak, is to find his body and give it a proper burial.” NB adds “if we both believe in this hocus pocus, we need to find where MS is buried, and quick.” KC responds “this is definitely not a text book police case we’re dealing with, and we have to think outside the box here. But we better keep this to ourselves. If anyone else in the force hears about this right now, they’ll be sending us to the Psych ward.” NB agrees.
KC recaps, saying “Right. We’ve got these four murders. All seem to be perpetrated by the same person, who looks like MS. Coincidentally all of the victims have been heavy metal musicians, and all the murders took place in the past week. Which is exactly how long the new A&T’s club has been open. Another link is that all the murder victims have played at A&T’s in the past week. And, all the evidence so far suggests that this fellow MS is somehow connected to the murders.” NB says “But MS was declared legally dead on February 20th, 1987.” KC responds “Yes, true. But no body or remains have ever been found and linked to MS.” NB says “does that mean MS is still alive?” KC responds “At this stage, anything is possible. But, according to the Vulcan Conspiracy website, Stack was last seen alive leaving the stage with the Vulcans in West Hollywood, at the now closed Club Retrograde, and he has never been seen since. Maybe he’s dead. Maybe he’s alive. Maybe he’s a ghost. I don’t know.”
NB says “we need to find out where Club Retrograde was or is, to go have a look and see if we can get any clues at the alleged murder scene.” KC says to NB “let me have a closer look” as he stretches to have a closer examination of the photo of Club Retrograde on the conspiracy website. The photo shows Club Retrograde in it’s hey day, with the marquee showing “Heavy Metal Extravaganza: Megadeth – Poison - Slayer” as the headline acts, with “The Vulcans and others” as opening acts.
Then KC says “Hmm. Club Retrograde was in West Hollywood. Well that’s where the newly opened A&T’s is located.” NB responds “let’s have a look at the photo of Club Retrograde from the file.” KC and NB then compare the photos side by side. Club Retrograde was a lone building at that time. The new A&T’s has new buildings on both sides. On closer inspection, KC and NB both simultaneously recognize that the building at the center of the photos is the same building (same window positions, door entrance, and box office, but different marquees, different siding, and other building updating). KC and NB both look at each other in recognition that A&T’s and Club Retrograde are one in the same. KC says “yeah, it’s the exact same frickin’ club” and draws the following conclusions:
- MS was last seen alive at Club Retrograde
- All four murders have happened since A&T’s opened a week ago
- MS has been spotted at A&T’s, and at two of the murder scenes, and at the record stores <
- There is some kind of connection between the murders, and the club, and MS
KC hypothesizes to NB ‘Well how is this for being far fetched? MS is still alive and is lynching his pray from the club?” KC adds “no, wait a minute, well if we’re talking far fetched, and believing the Vulcan Conspiracy Theory, then how about this. MS is dead and his body is somewhere at A&T’s, and this is the killer, pardon the pun, the opening of the club has somehow awoken his spirit. Therefore, MS’s spirit is now committing the murders and seeking revenge. And this is exactly what the lyrics of track 5 explained in “The Curse of Marshall Stack.” KC adds “I’ll bet you any money that is where his body is hidden. If you killed someone, you’d quickly hide it as best you could. Right?” NB responds “yes, I agree, the Vulcan band mates probably would not have taken the body with them. They would have concealed it somewhere close to where the murder happened. Isn’t that what usually happens?” KC says “usually… yes.”
After a silent pause, with a slightly puzzled look on his face. NB says “I think you’re right, as strange as it sounds.” KC says “didn’t the song say it took so long for MS to die in the box?” NB says “Yes, it said an hour.” KC says “Thinking out loud. How about this explanation? Could it be that the time interval between listening to the marked song, and death of the current day victims, and the time it took MS to die in the box, are both sixty minutes, which is not a coincidence? When did we get off the phone with Ritchie?” NB says “ten minutes ago” and KC says “well if we’re right on this, then we’ve only got fifty minutes to save Ritchie’s life! Let’s haul ass ‘outta here and get down to the club!”
Scene 67
As KS and NB hastily exit the police Headquarters and jump in their vehicle, the familiar pan-handler (with unkempt hair and large beard) in the wheelchair approaches the vehicle and knocks on the window with cup in hand. NB rolls down the window and says “what the hell do you want?” The beggar responds by holding a placard that says “please help me as I am deaf and dumb and need money for food.” (Sign is in gothic font like the Motorhead logo.) NB responds by rolling up the window and miming “fuck off” through the window without actually saying it, and then the car pulls away from the curb, up to the crosswalk waiting for the light to turn green.
The beggar in the wheelchair rolls himself up to the cross walk just forward of the waiting police car, which is stopped at the red light. Just as the light turns green and the police car moves, the beggar decides to cross against the lights (in front of the police car). The police car swerves but makes enough contact to knock the beggar out of his wheelchair, and he tumbles into the crosswalk. KC says “oh shit” as he looks into the rear view mirror. He sees the beggar jump to his feet yelling obscenities at the police car, giving them the finger, and picking up and pushing his own wheel chair, and crosses to the other side of the road against peeping cars. The beggar is yelling at the traffic and giving them the finger.
KC’s cell phone rings (heavy metal ring tone) and the call display reads “George Morton.” KC says “it’s George Morton, our undercover brother. Hey George, what’s happening?” Camera shows the beggar, who is none other than undercover police officer George Morton, talking into his cell phone saying “what the hell were you bastards trying to do, by running me over on the job!” KC responds “what are you talking about George?” Morton responds “I’ve been under cover working drug detail around the station, and that was me in the wheelchair!” KC says “I had no idea that was you. Are you all right?” Morton responds “its frickin’ dangerous and hard work pan handling for a living!” KC laughs and says “George, you’ve got it easy. Last year Nige had to work two weeks as an undercover male prostitute. And he says it was a real pain in the ass!” KC laughs out loud. “He’s still complains about it. So you’ve got it easy!” NB has is face in his hands shaking his head.
Scene 68
KC and NB are driving to A&T’s, with a variety of Los Angeles slices of life sight gags seen through the window of their police car. They turn on their favourite heavy metal radio station KNAC, to hear the announcer say “tonight is the BOTHMB final at A&T’s. The finalists include West Hollywood’s home boys The Dongs, Ventura County’s favourite band Forced Entry, the Johnsons, and the host of the evening is none other than heavy metal legend Lemmy. For all you heavy metal maniacs, this is an evening not to be missed! Here’s a taste of what’s coming, a track off the Dong’s latest album, titled “Love Juice Machine!” As the song is playing very loudly in the car, and as they are driving through the streets of West Hollywood, the camera shows a slice of life of this famous Los Angeles neighborhood, including:
1) Billboard by A&M Records promoting the new Dongs Album “Larger than Life” with photo of The Dongs band members posing with their instruments, sneering at the camera in typical angry musician fashion, all with exaggerated outlines of dongs running down to their knees.
2) Heavy metal girls crossing the street in tight white shirts with “The Dongs” logo on the shirts. <
3) Cars beside them, with fellow heavy metal fans also listening to KNAC banging their heads and raised fists, also heading to A&T’s for the evening’s show.
4) As the car stops at a light, with music blaring out, conservative looking people on the sidewalk give the police car a puzzled and icy glare.
5) A few people are out walking their dogs (and the people look just like their dogs in a funny LA kind of way). For example, a fellow with pit bull is a steroid giant body builder, a diminutive gay fellow is walking a neatly trimmed Chihuahua, and he stops to cross the side-walk beside the body builder with the pit bull. They both stare straight ahead until the body builder looks over and smiles at the short gay fellow. They hold hands and cross the street! The dogs sniff each other’s back ends.
6) Add more gags if needed
Scene 69
KC and NB pull up in front of A&T’s, and there is already a large line up waiting to get in for the show. The club has a heavy metal valet, decked out in a biker uniform with leather jacket and tassels, with an added bow tie for effect! He speaks with a upper class English accent and welcomes KC and NB with “welcome gents, just leave you’re keys with me and I’ll take care of everything” as he jumps in the car, starts the ignition with very loud music blaring, and as he sets off, he spins the wheels and fish-tails away (possibly whacking a parked car) to take the car to the valet lot.
(30 minutes until Ritchie is killed by MS)
As KC and NB enter the club in front of the people in line, there is some dissention from some of the waiting people, who are shouting obscenities and throwing half eaten pizza slices, beer cans etc. A thong lands on NB’s shoulder, and before he can say a word, the head shaved bouncer picks it off NB’s shoulder and takes an extended, pleasurable sniff (closing his eyes, pulling his top lip back, mimicking Anthony Hopkins in “Silence of the Lambs”). “I know exactly who these belong to” explains the bouncer, who yells into the crowd “Melanie! Melanie! Leave your knickers on until you’re well inside the club please!” as she reaches up, and he tosses them over to her. Melanie then reaches down and pulls them up under her very short and revealing miniskirt.
As the bouncer leads KC and NB into the club through the front doors past the crowd, Lemmy meets them in the main coat-check area. Lemmy is dressed in his usual black leather attire, and is smoking with one hand, and the other hand is holding a beer, with several gorgeous heavy metal women hanging on. Lemmy asks “How’s it going guys? Any developments on the murder case?” as he sends the girls away. KC explains that there has been a big development, and they need Lemmy’s urgent assistance to help thwart the next murder, and solve the case.
Scene 70
KC, NB and Lemmy all walk into the main club area, and KC and NB start debriefing Lemmy on the situation. But the music (from the BOTHMB contest act) is way too loud, so Lemmy motions that they will go somewhere quieter, and he makes a visual devil horn sign to the band on stage, who reciprocate. And the fans love it!
Then Lemmy invites KC and NB into his private office and shuts the door. The muffled thud of the music is audible in the background. On the walls are numerous gold records, and lots of framed photos of Lemmy with other famous rock starts, such as Lemmy and Alice Cooper, Lemmy and Slash, Lemmy and James Hetfield etc. There is other paraphernalia on the walls. Through the entire conversation with KC and NB, Lemmy is smoking his cigarette and drinking his beer.
KC informs Lemmy that:
There have been four heavy metal musician murdered in the past week.
The murders are all very similar, including the murder in his club.
That it takes an open mind to possibly accept the following explanation, and the supernatural cause of the murders.
Just like some heavy metal songs, the situation sounds like fantasy, but it there is a strong possibility that it’s real.
The main suspect to the recent murders is a guy named Marshall Stack, who used to play in a metal band called The Vulcans in the 1980s. KC and NB think MS was probably murdered by his band mates. Lemmy says he remembers the Vulcans, because his band toured with them once, and they were an excellent act with lots of potential. Lemmy is aware of the Vulcan conspiracy theory, but thought it was a load of hot air and it had all died down. Lemmy recalls that he met MS on a few brief occasions, and MS was completely out of his skull.
Lemmy says “I’m not sure if he was pissed, but he was always going on about his witchcraft spells and deals with the devil. But, he was always putting out threats that if anyone ever did him in, they too would sooner or later die very gruesome deaths at the hands of evil spirit dispatched from the other side. His ramblings never bothered me, of course, but I do recall one night when he was chanting and conjuring up his mates from the other side. He was either under the influence of some very strong chemicals, or was possessed by devilish beings, or writing material for the Vulcan’s new album. I can’t say which. It sounded just like standard run of the mill death metal to me! He was one fucked up dude.”
KC then says “I’m gonna get straight to the point here” and he looks Lemmy straight in the eye, and explains that they think MS was killed by his band mates, and MS’s body was hidden somewhere at Club Retrograde some 20 years ago. KC further explains that the opening of A&T’s club has somehow awoken MS’s spirit, which is now committing the murders, and is seeking revenge for his own murder. KC says “if our theory is correct, MS’s body is hidden in this club somewhere, and we need you to help us find it fast! It’s the only thing we’ve got to go on, and it might save the next victim’s life.”
“I can’t explain the details now, but we have to find MS’s body in the next twenty minutes, otherwise I fear we’re going to have another murder on our hands. And it will happen right here in the club tonight.” KC further explains that if the Vulcan conspiracy theory is true, they are looking for a coffin or box, because the story goes that it took MS one hour to die, by suffocating to death in the box he was sealed in by his band mates.
Lemmy asks “well how can I refuse to offer my help with a story like that. I’m not one that believes entirely in black magic, but with what I saw with that MS cat, I guess anything’s within the realm of possibility. Especially in the world of loud, long-haired, beer-fueled, heavy-metal. I’m all ears. Not that there’s much of them left these days!” After a brief pause Lemmy says “well wait a minute, if he’s a ghost, how can he kill people? After all ghosts are supposed to be non-physical entities. So how do they use their hands and objects to kill people?” KC again explains “NB and I think that as the time nears for the victim to die, MS temporarily assumes a physical presence, just long enough to fulfill his objective, after which he reverts to his spiritual being. That is the only explanation we can think of.”
KC asks Lemmy where on the premises he thinks a body in a box-like coffin could be hidden. Lemmy explains that there is an attic which he’s never checked above the main stage and the only other places the body could be hidden is in the cellar under the bar, or in the band rooms at the back, and there might be a crawl space under the stage (which Lemmy has also never checked).
Scene 71
MS scenes at club
The saloon doors at the club entrance miraculously blast open (on their own so it seems) as MS marches into the club. The camera shows MS filmed from waist looking down, so the viewers can see his trademark tattooed fingers and the cigarette in his hand and boots. The bouncer is chatting up a busty blonde, impressing her with all his tattoos and muscles, playing the big shot. The bouncer sees MS and says “$5 cover dude” and as MS strolls past, MS lets go a thunderous belch in response, but otherwise ignores the bouncer.
The bouncer gets a bit agitated and says “Hey Mr. Brownpants, I said its $5 at the door dawg!” There is still no response from MS, so the bouncer yells again “Hey you, with the long greasy hair. Its five bucks at the door!” (Sight gag: Ten guys all with long greasy heavy-metal hair all turn around and face the bouncer, who is now jumping forward to grab MS.) As the bouncer attempts to tackle MS to the ground, his arms just grab thin air because MS is a ghost, and cannot be tackled in this dimension. The bouncer falls to the ground in an embarrassing heap, as all the girls giggle at his predicament. By the time the bouncer collects himself from the floor, he looks around into the crowded club, but MS has vanished into the crowd.
Scene 72
Lemmy KC and NB all climb up the metal stairs on the side wall of the building up to the attic area above the main hall of the venue. They push open a heavy fire door and clamber into the dark and dusty attic. The flashlight they brought up with them from Lemmy’s office does not work. So someone says “Shit, it doesn’t work. Anyone got a light?” and Lemmy responds “Yeah I got a light. “ Lemmy whips open a huge biker grade lighter. It puts out one hell of a flame to everyone’s amazement, and begins to illuminate the room. As the room illuminates, rats scurry into the corners away from the light.
Lemmy looks down and there is still one curious rat loitering about at his feet. Lemmy yells “Son of a bitch!” as he stomps his boot down on top of the rodent, and squashes it to smithereens (with blood and guts comically blowing out both ends like a burst balloon, followed by a squeaking as the critter expires). The rodent remnants splatter against the bottom of KC’s pants, and KC looks down with a “what the hell” look on his face, and exclaims “shit, those were brand new pants.” KC is waiting for an apology from Lemmy, which is not forthcoming, as Lemmy is oblivious to the rat debris on KC’s pants. Lemmy says “Right. Where were we?” as he kicks out his foot, and the rodent remains which were stuck to the bottom of his sole (as a red herring, Lemmy has been wearing the same boots at MS throughout the movie) go flying across the room and splatter against the wall.
As they are in an attic, which is not well insulated, there is a slight draft. NB takes notice and asks “do you guys feel that?” Lemmy responds “Feel what?” (as his face is illuminated by his lighter when he turns around to look at NB, and his hair is being subtly blown backwards). NB says “there’s quite a draft in here” and then KC stops and says “do you guys hear that noise?” KC says “What noise?” NB responds “it sounds like someone else is in here. I think I heard footsteps.” Lemmy says “that’s us.” As the group passes a roof support post, the camera pans down and shows MS’s boots and knuckles, but the group does not notice as MS is out of their view.
As they move forward into the attic, NB says “Do you guys smell cigarette smoke? Is it from downstairs, or is it my imagination that it’s right here?” The camera shows a very dark outline of MS with a cigarette in his mouth, and smoke wafting upwards. Scene cuts back to the group. Lemmy says “I can’t smell anything” but NB insists there is cigarette smoke present. The camera cuts to MS standing by a pillar, standing still, and the camera shot looks down to his boots and knuckles with a lit cigarette in hand. Then all of a sudden, the trap door to the attic mysteriously slams shut behind them, blocking out what little light was filtering through from downstairs. (Up tempo pounding bass as the scene intensifies.)
Lemmy and KC are startled and quickly turn around to see what caused the attic door to slam shut. NB is completely unfazed and is staring ahead emotionless. KC and Lemmy are looking at NB’s face, and the lighter is illuminating his face in an eerie way. NB has been temporarily possessed by MS’s spirit, and speaks in an altered, lower tone voice. He says “You guys are never going to catch me.” And KC says “What the hell are you talking about Nige?” NB responds “You can’t stop me. I’ll keep going until I got them all.” KC says “stop pissing about, this isn’t funny, and we’ve got very little time.” NB says “That’s true. Ritchie’s dead tonight and you can’t stop me.” KC says “Who are you and what do you want” NB responds “You know who I am. You know what I’m after. And you know why. You’ve been after me since I killed Tommy Miller over a week ago” Lemmy interjects by saying “Nigel. You mean you killed Miller. Fuckin’ hell. Why?” KC says to Lemmy “That’s not Nige.” Lemmy says “Yes it is. He’s putting on a bloody act!”
To prove it is not an act, NB (possessed) then turns to Lemmy and proclaims “You fucked Jenny, the teenage cleaning girl on the sofa in your office yesterday afternoon.” Lemmy, who is astounded, responds “How the hell do you know what I did yesterday? The club was locked, and we were the only people here. And she was plenty game.” (A very short flash-back clip of Lemmy and the girl in his office.) NB responds “Listen assholes. I’m Marshall Stack of the Vulcans. Those rotten bastards killed me. So I killed them. And now I’ve only got one son left to take care of. Tonight. Soon.” At which point NB’s eyes roll backwards into his head and he collapses in a typical, exhausted, post-possession heap on the ground. As he comes to, NB can’t remember what happened, and asks “What’s going on?” as KC and Lemmy help him to his feet. KC and Lemmy cover-up the incident by explaining to NB that he hit his head on a rafter and was briefly knocked out. “KC says “Let’s get you out of here Nige. There’s nothing here, and time is wasting. You’ll be fine.” Now that Lemmy has seen first hand the spiritual power and reality of MS (having possessed NB), he is all the more motivated to help them find MS’s remains as quickly as possible to avert Ritchie’s murder. Lemmy exclaims “Come on. Let’s find that body, quick!”
Scene 73
Lemmy, KC and NB are all back down in the bar area, and there is a band on stage. The second to last band for the contest is playing the last song of their set. The name of the band is “The Johnsons” and they are the current-day, hyped-up visual version of the Ramones, but playing very fast metal. (Band members include Johnny Johnson, Jerry Johnson, Jack Johnson, Jimmy Johnson, and Joey Johnson!) Long hair is covering their faces down to the tip of their noses, all with 5 o’clock shadows, dressed in black, black boots, black gloves, black leather boots, and dark shades.
Because NB is still shaken up, KC and Lemmy tell him to stay put in the bar, and watch for MS or anything strange, while they continue searching the club for MS’s remains or any clues. They agree to stay in constant radio contact with each other.
The crowd is going wild as the Johnsons belt out their number, with women throwing their panties on stage. One of the band members picks up some of the tossed panties and sniffs them in approval, and the guitarist then puts them in his pocket! A full song is played, and the scene shows antics in the audience, and on stage.
Scene 74
Lemmy and KC go to the cellar, and at the top of the stairs they are met by the bar maid DD, who asks Lemmy “What’s going on?” Lemmy flippantly responds “Don’t mind us DD, we’re just looking for bodies” as they all go down the stairs into the beer and wine cellar. DD says to herself “I tried my best” as they all go down in the cellar (which is 20 X 20 and very dingy with a small frosted glass window on side of the building at sidewalk level). As they all pile into the basement cellar, a biker chick is on her knees and administering a blow job to the fellow with Tourette’s syndrome (as she was so desperate!) KC and Lemmy’s presence are a classic case of coitus interuptus, and the biker chick is startled. She stops felating Mr. Tourette, and gags on his Johnson (choking and gagging sounds ensue).
Mr. Tourette then starts to curse in his usual fashion, and Lemmy interjects grabbing Mr. Tourette and pulling him up by his underwear with his pants down at his ankles. Lemmy says “House rule number one: I’m the only one allowed to get blow jobs in the cellar!” as Lemmy slaps him back and forth about the head. Mr. Tourette lets out with a rambling four-letter tirade against Lemmy. Lemmy responds with “House rule number two, no swearing except me! You’re fired!” as he spanks Mr. Tourette’s bare ass very hard” to punish him like a miss-behaving child. As Mr. Tourette is pulling his pants up, he gets them just beyond his knees, and scuttles up the stairs, cursing away very colorfully. The biker chick says “sorry Lemmy, he started hitting on me, and I was in the mood” as she collects herself and goes up the stairs. KC and NB look at each other in disbelief.
KC observes “The floor is made of concrete. There’s no way anybody excavated this floor to burry a body. And the ceiling is just wooden joists. There’s nothing up there.” They search all corners of the cellar and come up empty handed.
Scene 75 back upstairs in the bathroom
MS enters the men’s room and there are two fellows doing a drug deal, and they give MS a very wide berth as he struts up to the urinal. There are already two long-haired biker types with tattoos and leather jackets at the urinals on either side of MS, filmed from the back. We hear MS’s zipper rip open and the sounds of a large sausage-like member striking the porcelain bowl with a resounding low frequency thud. As he begins to release his bladder contents, MS lets out a moan of relief. The two bikers on either side begin to gaze downwards with looks of amazement at the size of MS’s Johnson, and they simultaneously move their heads toward the wall and look at each other with exaggerated expressions of awe. The bathroom silence is broken by a thunderous fart released by MS.
The two fellows talking outside in the hall are disrupted by the MS’s deafening fart emanating from the men’s room. They stop their conversation and crane their heads toward the men’ room curious as to what filthy bastard was responsible for the noise. One of the fellows says “It sounds like someone had a few too many 59 cent Burritos at the Taco Shack” The other guy says “Yeah. It smells like the BBQ Beef Burrito Supreme.” The other fellow counters “That’s my favourite!”
Meanwhile back in the men’s room, from behind we see him struggling to get his Johnson back into his pants as it is so large, and the bikers beside him have finished their business a long time ago. Both bikers (not gay) are transfixed by the spectacle of it all. Then the camera shows two new stooges walking into the men’s room to have a leak, as MS enters one of the stalls. As they begin to empty their bladders, their concentration is broken by the sound of someone (MS) loudly defecating in one of the stalls, including straining, splashing, grunting, farting etc. This audio spectacle causes both of them to look behind to where all the noise is coming from. As they turn around, they both end up pissing all over each other’s pants (sight gag).
As they start to curse in response to pissing on themselves, MS commences a loud and exaggerated session of coughing up vast amounts of mucus and phlegm from the depths of his gut. MS starts laughing out loud in a ghostly, comedic Scooby Doo-type laugh. The two stooges rapidly exit the men’s room and brush past the two fellows conversing in the hall. One of them says “smells and sounds like someone’s dying in there” and one of the stooges responds “I think the guy that’s in there is already dead” as one of them shouts “smelly bastard” towards the bathroom door. MS returns the fire by releasing a thunderous fart, which blows the lights out in the men’s room. Other fart-induced sight gags could include:
-Band members on stage look towards the bathroom in unison as a thunderous fart emanates from MS in the lavatory.
-Sound man at the mixer board notices the lights on his console flicker on and off, as the sound shorts out for a second or two due to MS’s farts.
-Fart shock wave causes the stage curtains to sway.
-Fart shock wave causes the flame on candle-holders on tables to flicker.
Scene 76
MS is at the bar watching the proceedings. A slightly drunk but very attractive bar chick (with tight pants, leather boots, white t-shirt and leather jacket) is trying to chat up MS. But it’s all one-way conversation, and she’s flashing all her stuff at MS trying to get his attention, but its not working. She starts to get visibly frustrated at the lack of response. MS has his cigarette in his hand, and is looking straight ahead. She eventually gets very pissed off and kicks him, but kicks right through thin air and lands flat on her back end, cursing away. As she pulls herself back up, she looks around and MS has vanished. She says “he’s just like all the other men out there. Fucking assholes” as she looks around for MS. She then latches onto one of the biker dudes with a huge beer belly from the men’s room, who happens to be beside her!
Scene 77
In between band performances, there is a comedic MC who takes the stage for filler entertainment. His schtick is to publicly humiliate and harangue random members of the audience, in the vein of Don Rickles or Andrew Dice Clay. On this particular evening, the MC singles out MS as part of his routine. As he starts his verbal attack, a spotlight is shone on MS, and the room dims. The two sets of guys from the men’s room say “Oh look, they’ve got Mr. Brownpants in the spotlight!” MC starts to insult MS by highlighting his poor personal hygiene and his demeanor. “Hey, look at this greasy bastard over here. I bet you this guy gets laid less than Pewee Herman!” MC follows on with more typical insults:
a) When you were born, you were so ugly the Doctor must have slapped your mother!
b) Who says there’s an oil shortage? This guy’s got more crude oil in his air than Kuwait exported in 2005!
As the verbal assault is levied, MS is completely unfazed by it all, and remains stone faced. The crowd is going nuts at his expense, and someone heckles the MC from the other side of the room. The spotlight goes over to the heckler briefly, and when it returns to MS’s spot, MS has vanished. The MC makes a biting remark about MS.
Scene 78
(15 minutes until Ritchie is murdered by MS)
Lemmy and KC go around to the back stage area, and look in the two band rooms. First they have a look in the room which is occupied by the Johnsons. As the band still on stage breaking down their last set, only the band’s loyal squad of groupies is present. They are wearing bikini underwear and a few are topless. KC and Lemmy enjoy the sights. Then Lemmy and KC go to the other band room next door. The door is closed, but laughs and giggles are heard emanating from within. They knock on the door, and someone yells “fuck off we’re busy!” KC and Lemmy knock again, and Lemmy says “Its Lemmy. Open the fuckin’ door or we’re coming in!” The door is slowly opened to reveal bedlam in full swing.
The band “Forced Entry” are all present, along with their groupies, all laughing it up. They’re watching a Motorhead video on the large screen TV. They are totally zonked out, smoking joints, drinking booze, and full of attitude. Someone is rolling a big one as KC and Lemmy enter the room, and someone yells out “is this a bust or what?” KC says “Not this time, we need to search this room quickly. Can everyone stand up and stand in the center for just a minute.” Lemmy and KC then quickly check all the walls, under the sink, behind the fridge etc, and there is nothing. However, Lemmy spots Jenny, the teenage girl he shagged yesterday in his office, and they both eyeball each other. Both ignore each other, and Lemmy quickly moves on, not wanting to attract conversation with the girl. The room is completely empty of clues.
Scene 79
10 minutes until Ritchie is murdered by MS.
The count-down times to death may need to be adjusted in production so they can be more accurately choreographed to the scenes that follow.
As KC and Lemmy leave the room, NB calls KC on the radio, yelling that he can now see MS in the audience, slowly moving in the direction of the stage. Many communications follow between NB and KC on MS’s status. The Dongs have taken the stage and are being introduced by the MC, who makes an off colour joke about the band’s name. They start playing, and the crowd is going wild. More panties and bras are being thrown onto the stage. Someone throws a rubber dong onto the stage!
A roadie comes out onto the stage with a laundry basket and collects all the undergarments, stopping to sniff a pair of panties for an extended period of time. The audience starts chanting the name of a Dong number “Curse of the Dammed” and after a short break, the band starts playing this song as their second number. The crowd goes wild and the mosh pit spins into action without delay! As the band starts to play, everyone that was sitting in chairs on the sideline tables, now starts to rush the dance floor en mass. All the people rushing the dance floor and stage impede MS in his path towards the stage.
Scene 80
KC and Lemmy are walking in the small hallway away from the band rooms past the back of the stage area. As they walk past, there is a small, waiste-high door at ground level, which KC catches out of the corner of his eye. He stops walking and asks Lemmy “What’s that?” as he points to the hatch door. Lemmy responds “I have no idea, the contractor never told me about this room, but we can have a look.” KC crouches down.
Scene 81
5 minutes until Ritchie is murdered by MS
MS is now reacting to KC and Lemmy’s progress. He begins to display minor twitching and grimaces. He is bumping into patrons on the floor, spilling their beer all over the place and bumping into girls. One fellow yells above the music “What the fuck dude, watch where you’re going!” MS responds with another twitch and the guy thinks MS is being a smart ass and calls him an asshole.
Scene 82
Meanwhile behind the stage, KC and Lemmy have opened the hatch door, and are peering into the darkness, which is actually right underneath the main stage.
KC says “Its pitch black in there and I can’t see a thing. Looks like there is a lot of space in there, and we need to go in and check it out.” KC is wearing an expensive work suite, and crawls through the narrow opening with his flashlight. Lemmy asks “Can you see anything?” and the camera shows KC slithering along and shining the flashlight forward, and he sees nothing other than joists and beams making up the under stage framework.” KC responds ‘There’s nothing here but a lot of dust.” The music is thundering away above KC, and he can quite clearly hear the sounds, which are reverberating underneath the stage area.
Scene 83
MS has made his way closer to the stage, and is in among the mosh pit. MS is now being pushed and body slammed by the testosterone and beer fuelled louts in the pit. Some of the guys give MS a healthy shove or two, and MS is getting pissed off with the proceedings, because he’s trying to move forward to his intended victim (Ritchie) on stage, but the crowd keeps pushing him backwards. As KC and Lemmy are getting closer to his coffin, MS’s twitching and convulsing are become more pronounced (because the closer they are to finding his body and breaking the curse, the more unstable his physical presence becomes). MS gets body slammed by a 300 pound body-builder type. MS reaches out with one hand, and casually lifts him off his feet with apparent ease, and holds him in the air with his feat dangling for a couple seconds. MS suddenly lets go, and the lout falls to the floor, and looks up at MS in shock, and then bolts away.
Scene 84
Under the stage, while casting his flashlight around, KC bangs his head on something unseen, which startles him, and causes him to drop his flashlight to the floor. KC then picks up the flashlight and shines it upwards above his head, to see what he bumped his head on. His flashlight shines directly on to a wooden box that is strapped to the ceiling. It appears as if the box is secured to the ceiling by four leather straps (one in each corner). As KC studies his finding for a couple seconds, he then realizes that this may be MS’s burial casket, and excitedly exclaims “Holy shit!” Lemmy calls into the hole to KC “What’s going on under there?” KC yells back “I think I’ve found it!” and Lemmy asks “You found what?” And KC answers “I think its MS’s coffin. I need your help fast!” Lemmy crawls through the trap door and KC yells “Quick! We need to get this box off the ceiling.” It is fairly obvious that the box has been secured to the ceiling with four leather clothing belts, and KC says “We need to rip this down. Just help me pull on it and it should come down easily.”
Scene 85
As they wrestle the box off the ceiling, MS is finally making his way out of the mosh pit, desperate to get to Ritchie, to finish him off before his physical presence expires. At this point, Ritchie finally sees MS coming towards him, and he cannot believe what he sees. Although he continues to play his guitar, Ritchie is like a rabbit frozen in headlights. Ritchie is totally scared shitless. (Slomo effect: Ritchie playing and singing in ultra slow motion with heavily slowed and distorted voice.)
Scene 86
NB is yelling into his radio to KC that MS is getting very close to Ritchie. The pressure is building. NB can be heard on KC’s radio while they’re under the stage dealing with the coffin. KC and Lemmy are hanging on to opposite ends of the coffin, and are yanking on it to with all their might to wrestle it free from the ceiling. Suddenly, one end comes free, and then the other end comes free as well. The wooden box hits the ground with two separate thuds, and a large cloud of dust rises up. A supernatural electrical discharge takes place around the lid of the coffin.
Scene 87
MS is now on his last stand before the curse is finally broken. He is climbing onto the stage as his twitching and convulsions are in full force. To the unaware audience members, MS looks like he’s had a bit too much to drink. (As an option for special effects, the closer the curse gets to being solved, MS starts to decay in a very graphic way, with his skin giving way to muscle and tendons exposed on bone.) As MS climbs onto the stage, NB is now yelling into his radio to KC “He’s on the stage! He’s getting closer to Ritchie!” The bassist yells at MS “Get off my fucking stage num nuts” as he begins to walk towards MS at the stage end. The bassist grabs his bass like a battering ram about to push MS off the stage, in true Keith Richards fashion!
Scene 88
KC and Lemmy are about to open the hinged lid of the box, and there is all sorts of electric discharge and wind, and dry ice effects emanating from within the box. KC slowly opens the box to reveal the semi-mummified remains and bones of MS.
Scene 89
The electrical discharge from the coffin momentarily short-circuits the club’s lighting system, which shorts out for just a second or two (almost like a strobe effect). In the blink of an eye that this happens, MS has vanished from the stage, leaving Ritchie unscathed, and the bassist pushes his base into thin air and falls down into an embarrassing heap on the stage. As soon as the power is back, the bassist is standing up and collecting himself, and the Dongs resume playing their number, and the crowd once again is back into the music. Meanwhile Ritchie (playing his guitar) is also looking around into the audience wondering why MS vanished.
Scene 90
Lemmy and KC are looking at the remains in the box, which is an old equipment box. The camera shows MS’s remains consisting of bones and the clothing he was buried in, with his biker boots, leather jacket, bullet belt, studs, rings, jewelry, parted hair, mutton chops, a missing tooth (all on the skull). His hands have been tied behind his back and the gag is still sitting in the mouth of the skull, just where it was placed by his murdering band mates years ago.
KC pronounces to Lemmy “Well it’s pretty obvious. They all took their belts off and used them to secure the box to the ceiling of the under-stage chamber. We got our man” and at the same time, NB radios KC and states “MS is gone! He’s vanished!” KC answers “I know.” NB says “Ritchie is OK. What’s going on? Where’s MS?” KC responds “I’m looking at him right now. His remains were stashed in an equipment box that was hidden under the stage for the past twenty years. We’ve found his body and that’s obviously broken his curse. He’s gone back to eternal resting in peace.”
Scene 91
The police and forensic teams are all on the scene taking away MS’ remains, the box, the belts and all other evidence. As they are leaving the club…
Scene 92
10 PM that night…
The award ceremony of the BOTHMB contest is winding down. Lemmy is on stage pronouncing the winner of the contest (which is based on audience vocal vote or Guest Judges including the likes of Dee Snider, Brian Johnson, Alice Cooper, Ronnie James Dio, and others). Lemmy pronounces “The winner of the contest is none other than LA’s favourite home town boys, The Dongs!” Lemmy asks the Dong members to come up onto the stage to accept their awards and pose for media photos, and conduct some interviews with the rock’n’roll radio and TV media on hand for the event.
A newspaper photographer (from the local paper) says “Hey guys, can you stand over here for some photos” as he motions the Dongs for an on-stage photo. The photographer frames the shot with the band in the foreground and the cheering audience in the background. The photo is taken with the flash temporarily freezing the image on screen, and this is the same photo that appears on the front page of tomorrow’s daily newspaper.
Scene 93
KC and NB thank Lemmy for his help in finding MS’s remains and breaking the curse just in the nick of time, strange as it may sound. But they are all happy that the matter is behind them, and they are all sharing a beer while the Dongs take the stage for their encore performance. The scene fades to black.
Scene 94
Next Day
The camera shows a newspaper boy throwing morning newspapers from his delivery bike onto residential driveways and front door steps. The camera shows a newspaper landing face up on someone’s front porch. The camera then zooms in to reveal that the picture on the front page and caption underneath highlights last night’s Battle of the Heavy Metal Bands Contest. As the camera pans in even closer to the picture on the front page of the newspaper, it reveals none other than a grinning MS in the crowd, just behind the Dongs on stage (taken last night at the club).
Fade to final scene.
Scene 95
Ritchie walks into Revenge Records and approaches the cashier, whose face is hidden behind today’s newspaper, with cigarette smoke wafting up behind the newspaper. The camera then pans down to another article on the front page of the newspaper: “Dead Musician Found After 20 Years: Murder Solved - Case Closed.” Ritchie asks the clerk “Hey man got any new loud stuff?” The camera does not show the clerk’s face, but his voice responds (shot from behind the newspaper) “Yeah man, I think this is what you’re looking for.” The clerk adds “It’s the CD right here on the desk.” Ritchie says “Thanks bro. Can I listen to it at the listening post?” The clerk answers “Go ahead” and Ritchie takes the CD and listens to some track samples at the nearby listening post. After three or four track samples, Ritchie likes what he hears and returns to the desk with the CD in hand. The clerk is still reading his newspaper. Ritchie says “I’ll take it.” The camera quickly pulls focus on the clerk’s fingers showing rings, tattoos and nicotine stains, as the clerk then lowers his newspaper to reveal his identity to Ritchie. The clerk is none other than a grinning MS, with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. MS says “It’s a killer.” Immediate cut to black, credits roll, and loud music soundtrack kicks in.
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The movie idea detailed herein is the copyright and protected property of Henry Tenby and Alan Robertson. Reproduction prohibited without permission.
